[Spoilers] Rant and Rave without Reprecussions - Season 6 Edition

[AlpenglowMemories]

Euron's one of their poorest castings, I think. He's impossible to take seriously. And they gutted the Kingsmoot of any and all dramatic interest. Those speeches, ugh. Seriously, why can't they develop scenes in an interesting manner? Everything about this show feels of perfunctory, plain, by the numbers. Even, and I can't get over this, the reveal about the Origin of the Others. They managed to make that "eh, whatever" as a moment. I mean...wow?

[The Wull]

I'm sorry but every time I see show Euron he reminds me of Star Lord from Guardians of the Galaxy and it just ruins my immersion.  Probably their weakest casting decision IMO.

[LadySoftheart]

I think they should have just cut the Kingsmoot and Dorne completely rather than adapting them in this totally half-assed way. They could have kept Theon and Yara and on the show they already had Daario give Dany a fleet - so don't burn that one and let her sail to Westeros with it, and if they had to, have Yara be the one to rescue Theon and Sansa (or whatever.) Always better to cut something out than to do this weird compression and  gutting of the elements that make it interesting.

[Marcus Agrippa]

2 hours ago, Ruhail said:

New trailer

 

10/10

[The Scabbard Of the Morning]

I don't even know why they bothered with Euron, they could have just had NotAsha take control of the ironborn without a Kingsmoot and still had her sail for Meereen

[TepidHands]

1 hour ago, The Wull said:

I'm sorry but every time I see show Euron he reminds me of Star Lord from Guardians of the Galaxy and it just ruins my immersion.  Probably their weakest casting decision IMO.

Pshaw. Star Lord was funnier, sexier and had some rockin' tunes. This guy is bloatilicious and boring. 

Hells, I teared up when Groot saved them all: "We are Groot." *sniff* And I'm  a cynical beyotch. I couldn't even summon up a tear for Hodor or Summer, because I found the whole thing just beyond belief. 

That's the saddest thing about this show's decline. I can't invest myself emotionally because this isn't consistent and intelligent. Gods be good, Ian McShane had the right of it. It's just tits and dragons now (and one possibly wart-ridden dick). 

[nekrohsis]

Sorry, just thought of this now and it's still bothering me.

That guy who got turned into a WW had no chest hair. Like, even around his nips. Something was seriously bothering me there and now I know what: the extra they put up there got waxed or something. Now I know why it looked so fake. 

[SerProle]

Yikes, my first post lol;)

I cut and paste some of the excellent reviews of the episode to send friends who are still reeling from how terrible this season is and trying to cope. Thanks especially to SerLoinSteak and CasualObserver for the great posts in recent pages, but lots of great stuff in this thread.

For those who like Preston's stuff, Chad's name origin reveal in is his latest episode review is hilarious.

[A_Cornered_Wolf]

Can anyone explain what logical (not dramatically satisfying, but logical) reason there is for Sansa not to kill LF, ride south to Moat Callin, tell Royce she killed LF for being a traitor, take about five seconds to bend Robin Arryn to her will, and then march North with the Vale army with no strings attached?

Logically, what could LF possibly offer he that is worth more than that?  Particularly in the face of the fact keeping him alive is a liability because of how untrustworthy he is?  Don't tell me its her consciensce, she's ready to write her youngest brother off for dead.

Nothing short of plot armor explains it.

[Maid So Fair]

5 minutes ago, A_Cornered_Wolf said:

Can anyone explain what logical (not dramatically satisfying, but logical) reason there is for Sansa not to kill LF, ride south to Moat Callin, tell Royce she killed LF for being a traitor, take about five seconds to bend Robin Arryn to her will, and then march North with the Vale army with no strings attached?

Logically, what could LF possibly offer he that is worth more than that?  Particularly in the face of the fact keeping him alive is a liability because of how untrustworthy he is?  Don't tell me its her consciensce, she's ready to write her youngest brother off for dead.

Nothing short of plot armor explains it.

Just like Jaime in Dorne, he's not supposed to be there so he can't die. 

It's really exasperating that people are saying that her lying to Jon shows that she's taken a page out of LF's book and looking after her own interests, when the most logical thing for her to do is to claim that army, either by pretending to forgive LF (and killing him afterwards) or just plain killing him off. It's not like turning around the army, that has now left the Vale, marched up the Kingsroad and openly taken a Northern castle, is in any way a feasible option. Are we supposed to believe that LF will march back an go, sorry lads, my mistake, war is the NEXT Saturday?

[The Fattest Leech]

18 minutes ago, SerProle said:

Yikes, my first post lol;)

I cut and paste some of the excellent reviews of the episode to send friends who are still reeling from how terrible this season is and trying to cope. Thanks especially to SerLoinSteak and CasualObserver for the great posts in recent pages, but lots of great stuff in this thread.

For those who like Preston's stuff, Chad's name origin reveal in is his latest episode review is hilarious.

Welcome I see you keep company with some good posters.

Yeah, the PJ "Chad Chad Chad" thing was especially hilarious.

[Chaircat Meow]

I'm upset about Leaf. She died in a stupid way and I wanted to see more of her. She'd have got the same result by lobbing the grenade down the tunnel. Speaking of which, grenades, really ... Did they have them last season?

[Ruhail]

What was the point of including Bloodraven and the children of the forest? They did absolutely nothing and barely went into their respective pasts/history in Westeros and why they called Bran out there.

[Low Sparrow]

8 hours ago, Ruhail said:

So Brutiene you're still moaning and bitching about Stannis in Castle black of all places eh Well...

https://scontent-lhr3-1.xx.fbcdn.net/v/t1.0-9/fr/cp0/e15/q65/13254077_880879295391914_3686015069925188256_n.jpg?efg=eyJpIjoidCJ9&oh=a52b138536595d3fd6487b05715827da&oe=57DA2CC7 

Love the hat! Shiiiit, she is so gangsta! "My lady is asking you a question!"

The same lady who you lied to about her little sister. Ya' remember Brienne? The one who's only protector you killed. Arya something I think. Last I heard you had sworn an oath to protect her to her mother. Failed. Oh, and then you swore an oath to her sister. To whom you lied to about afterwards. Fail again!

Brienne's scenes would be tolerable if that hat could be superimposed on her head for all her remaining episodes.

[Uncle Benjen's]

Wait a second....

I know it is probably going to be the same in the books but regarding episode 5 - does no one else think it's rather strange that the long system of tunnels the COTF use has a massive wooden door at the end of it? Whereas the entrance is just a cave opening.
It seems strange to me because:
a. The COTF have created and use a giant wooden door at an opening of their cave but we have seen this in any others, how would you install a door onto a cave and more importantly how did the COTF build a door.
b. Having a door at a cave opening in the middle of a barren snowy wasteland just draws attention.
c. Magical spells that blow up unwanted intruders kind of reduces the need of a door.
d. They seem like hardcore eco warriors and started wars over trees being cut down... but in order to get that wooden door they would've had to of created tools and chopped down a tree to get the wood. Kind of hypocritical.

That's my two pennies.

Anyway,
I don't know if anyone's said it already but I'm really looking forward to seeing Hodor's return as a wight.

[The Ned's Little Girl]

I stopped watching the show in disgust after season 3, but I have to say that just reading the descriptions of the inanity and stupidity is making my head spin. I can't imagine how surreal an experience it is to actually watch it with your own eyes!

I bow down to those who are enduring this experience that we might all be enlightened. Know that your suffering has not been in vain.

 

[Suzanna Stormborn]

15 minutes ago, Uncle Benjen's said:

Wait a second....

I know it is probably going to be the same in the books but regarding episode 5 - does no one else think it's rather strange that the long system of tunnels the COTF use has a massive wooden door at the end of it? Whereas the entrance is just a cave opening.
It seems strange to me because:
a. The COTF have created and use a giant wooden door at an opening of their cave but we have seen this in any others, how would you install a door onto a cave and more importantly how did the COTF build a door.
b. Having a door at a cave opening in the middle of a barren snowy wasteland just draws attention.
c. Magical spells that blow up unwanted intruders kind of reduces the need of a door.
d. They seem like hardcore eco warriors and started wars over trees being cut down... but in order to get that wooden door they would've had to of created tools and chopped down a tree to get the wood. Kind of hypocritical.

That's my two pennies.

Anyway,
I don't know if anyone's said it already but I'm really looking forward to seeing Hodor's return as a wight.

I said the same thing.  In the books there is no door, so if the line Hold the Door is how he dies, it is not in that cave.  Maybe they leave and go to a wildling camp.  Maybe they are back at Castle Black, who knows, but there is no closing wooden door in the cave FASHO.  There are no roof crawling zombies, no thermal detonator, no way Bloodraven is holding Bran in a trance while zombies overtake the cave, no way the WW"s come in the cave.  I would say Meera killing one might happen, but out in the open, not in the cave.  And there is no way in hell that Summer or Shaggy die as they did on the show.  Davos is going to get Rickon mounted on Unicorn back on Skagos and his black GD wolf is still alive.  and we all know that GRRM doesnt kill his beloved characters until they are done, and the Summer/Bran thing is far from done.  Nah that was mostly show BS.

If i had to guess, what the deaths of the 2 wolves means for the books is that Nymeria and her gang will be involved in the final battle, and that Ghost will be at JOn's side the whole time too, fighting off the WW's. But I actually seriously doubt Shaggy and SUmmer will die in the books. Nymeria's wolf pack and 3 very big dragons will be about all the CGI budget can take.

 

 

54 minutes ago, Ruhail said:

What was the point of including Bloodraven and the children of the forest? They did absolutely nothing and barely went into their respective pasts/history in Westeros and why they called Bran out there.

Yes exactly dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb (south park).

[Neds Secret]

10 hours ago, TheCasualObserver said:

I have a metric fuckton to say about the LF/Sansa scenes.

Skipping LF's capacity to teleport (why bother? It doesn't seem to bother any critics, so why should it bother me? Anyone can get anywhere in any amount of time now, because that's good storytelling) we start with Sansa explaining to LF how she suffered at the hands of Ramsay. I was puzzled as to why we were doing this until I later realized that Ramsay wasn't in this episode, which might mean that some viewers forget how evil he is. Well avoided D and D! And despite the subject matter I found myself laughing incredible hard when Sansa said "You freed me from the monsters who murdered my family, and you gave me to other monsters who murdered my family." There it is in black and white. We've been saying it for over a year and now the characters are finally realizing it. But you don't get any points back from your stupid plot last year by pointing out how stupid it was this year.

Interestingly, and in keeping with how the show has been trying to push the "girl power" narrative, Sansa's attitude in this scene moves away from the "hardened woman making a choice" comments made by the writers last year and dumps blame squarely on LF's head. I'm not trying to victim blame, but I will say that Sansa did go to Winterfell at LF's instruction. The abuse was no ones fault but Ramsays - but Sansa still passively accepted the plan outlined in s5 ep3 by LF and now mocked here by Sansa. Pointing out how stupid it all was after the fact makes her at best an idiot and at worst a hypocrite. One of the main reasons why I always scoffed at those critics using historical context to make sense of Sansa's marriage or say that it started a "debate" about sexual violence is that Sansa went to marry her enemies voluntarily thanks to a half baked and nonsensical effort to get revenge; a decision which no sane person in the history of woman kind has ever made. So how useful is it in discussing anything if it has no bearing in reality? For the creators to try and step back from what they presented last year is cowardly in the extreme.

LF explains that the vale Lords have occupied Moat Cailen, a piece of exposition so ridiculous it takes my breath away. In order for this to make sense, one of these must be true:

1. Ramsay was not defending Moat Cailen, the fortress which guards the entrance to his realm, in spite of the fact that he is an enemy of the state now and has just executed a member of house Frey - geographically the closet neighbor he has. This indicates gross incompetence.

2. Ramsay allowed a foreign army to occupy his own territory based on the dodgy alliance his father (who he has subsequently murdered) made with LF, the shiftiest man in the seven kingdoms who gave them Sansa stark out of the kindness of his heart and who has now mustered an army to help Ramsay without even being asked. This indicates a child-like gullibility.

3. The Vale Knights have outright conquered a northern castle without repercussions and in astonishing little time. This indicates that the Castle fell without the need for ladders, rams or siege towers - perhaps LF teleported them inside.

But Sansa is having none of it. She is pissed at LF (who can blame her) and wants nothing more to do with him... or the massive army that is already encamped on foreign soil for her. This raises two more points.

1. Sansa is refusing the aid of the Vale because she dislikes LF, which is an emotional response worthy of her season 1 self.

2. Sansa (and the show itself) is assuming without evidence that LF and the Vale Knights are synonymous; a single political entity. Instead of rounding up the Northern lords, Sansa should instead make her case directly to Robin Arryn and Lord Royce, with the knowledge that LF is Lysa Arryn's killer as her ace in the hole. She is a blood relative of Robin and has been treated very well by Royce. These two make for natural allies against both the boltons and LF if she so chose. The show will inevitably team LF up with Sansa again, but separating him from Robin will never be considered in the show because we need the Vale Knights to save the day at the last minute and not a moment before. Apparently D and D are fans of Return of the King.

Once again, LF need only flash sansa a cheeky hint of his quasi irish accent and she's powerless before his machinations. We've had three episodes of happiness from Jon and Sansa, but because LF points out "heeeesssshhhh yer hurf breeeettthhhheeerrr" she starts lying to him and politically posturing. Consistency, thy name is GOT.

And the nail in the coffin; LF announces that Blackfish has taken Riverrun. Sansa seizes on the idea that a man surrounded by enemies on all sides is the perfect bloke to start sending her troops, but this idiocy isn't the hateful part. The worst part is that immediately after a conversation in which Sansa repudiates LF, says she hates and doesn't trust him, she starts acting upon unverified information that only he has told her. It was probably just a cheap way to get exposition across, but the show ignored the internal consistency of a single scene! How can anyone applaud the show when the characterization is sacrificed in an instant for the convieniance of the plot?

But who am I kidding? Sansa is a walking plot convenience, devoid of personality or character beyond experiencing misery. The first episode needed Theon to look brave, so Sansa was made afraid of icy water. The third episode needed Jon pushed out of his funk, so Sansa became a badass determined to get him back in the ring. The fifth episode needed LF to be chewed out but not actually effected politically, so Sansa shouts at him, then leaves him alone until ep 9 or whenever he returns with the Vale Knights et al. Whatever role the episode needs Sansa to play, she can play it, be it spoilt child, sex abuse victim or political schemer. But even I admit how rare it is to see her being all three in the same episode.

Just call me "The Dead Sea" because I'm salty as fuck. 

Spot on!!

[The Fattest Leech]

1 hour ago, Chaircat Meow said:

I'm upset about Leaf. She died in a stupid way and I wanted to see more of her. She'd have got the same result by lobbing the grenade down the tunnel. Speaking of which, grenades, really ... Did they have them last season?

Sadly, yes. Leaf V1.0 threw them to save Bran and company from hyper skeletons coming at them back in S4.

https://youtu.be/kwGw6vcXajg?t=262

[Neds Secret]

1 hour ago, Ruhail said:

What was the point of including Bloodraven and the children of the forest? They did absolutely nothing and barely went into their respective pasts/history in Westeros and why they called Bran out there.

It was so fucking pointless that I am beyond the point of caring, what did Bran learn about? Hodors past and that Ned left for the Eyrie, big deal !