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larrytheimp

Dating - I love the way you swipe

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While it's nice to see my predicament sparked an interesting discussion, I don't think your advice is very applicable in my case, @Heartofice. There, friendship simply preceded any attraction, or, for that matter, any window of socially acceptable courtship (as we were both in relationships when we got to know each other, and at least one of us always has been for as long we've known each other until September). Anyway I'm certainly closer to Meera in my dating preferences, in part because I'm not really interested in one-night-stands (those I've had were not all that much fun tbh), in part because of the passage Rippounet quoted earlier. And I've had my success with my way of doing things, too

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1 hour ago, Lily Valley said:

Too Much Girl has been texting again.  Started with things like, "C'mon, you can't stay mad at me forever."

O RLY?  Watch me.

Too Much Girl surely must have encountered a door-slam before, if she's gotten this way in the past.  Perhaps she's just repeating the pattern hoping for a different outcome. 

 

Well, I'm ending off the year same way I started it.  Confused by the same woman.  I was putting this girl behind me, after I found out she had a boyfriend, but they don't seem to have chemistry, and after all this time they don't live together -- though I am pretty sure they did years ago.  Party at her place i helped organize for our meet-up group.  A very chameleon-like person.  She gave me a chaste peck on the lips as I left, and a few months ago  she said she wanted my heart, but doesn't expect to get it.   She said her boyfriend doesn't live there, she's too independent to live with someone.  Weird thing is he said he does live there.  I'm sure none of his stuff is there, the apartment is too small to not notice.  Whatever.  I hate emotional relapses.

Crazy good party though.

Edited by SpaceChampion

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2 hours ago, SpaceChampion said:

Well, I'm ending off the year same way I started it.  Confused by the same woman.  I was putting this girl behind me, after I found out she had a boyfriend, but they don't seem to have chemistry, and after all this time they don't live together -- though I am pretty sure they did years ago.  Party at her place i helped organize for our meet-up group.  A very chameleon-like person.  She gave me a chaste peck on the lips as I left, and a few months ago  she said she wanted my heart, but doesn't expect to get it.   She said her boyfriend doesn't live there, she's too independent to live with someone.  Weird thing is he said he does live there.  I'm sure none of his stuff is there, the apartment is too small to not notice.  Whatever.  I hate emotional relapses.

So this is a girl you have professed interest in previously?  And she says things like "she wants your heart" and kisses you on the lips (even briefly) when you're leaving a party, even though she's in a relationship?  Man, that is messed up.  I would avoid her like a nest of vipers, but that's just me. 

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24 minutes ago, Maithanet said:

So this is a girl you have professed interest in previously?  And she says things like "she wants your heart" and kisses you on the lips (even briefly) when you're leaving a party, even though she's in a relationship?  Man, that is messed up.  I would avoid her like a nest of vipers, but that's just me. 

Yep. HUGE red flags.

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11 hours ago, Maithanet said:

So this is a girl you have professed interest in previously?  And she says things like "she wants your heart" and kisses you on the lips (even briefly) when you're leaving a party, even though she's in a relationship?  Man, that is messed up.  I would avoid her like a nest of vipers, but that's just me. 

I think the context of "want your heart" was as compared to whatever intellectual thing I said in response to her question.  She was opening up finally and said she thought I probably only do so when I can see someone reciprocate (true), which she says is very hard for her.    I think she sort of sees me as a lab experiment to see part of herself.  Of course I didn't focus on the context, just heard what I wanted to hear.  The convo was kind of abstract, starting off with some verse of a poem she had published that she wanted to give to me in the middle of the night.    I don't know wtf is going on.  I responded with a complete poem I wrote on the fly.   She said she thought we could create space for each other to write in.  But in person?  I don't know what that means either.  Maybe she's as frustrated with me as I am with her.  Communicating with her was like that episode of Next Gen "Darmok".  We seemed to make progress then, but nothing since.  The party too loud and too public for me to have a proper conversation that I've been trying to have for nearly a year now.

There is another person i was interested in beginning in the fall, her total opposite in a lot of ways, we communicate really well, so it was a relief.  But that girl is not interested, due to different cultures, and was totally surprised when I expressed interest.  Somehow missed my awkward flirting which i thought she was receptive to was more than friendship.  Shaka when the walls fell.

Edited by SpaceChampion

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