Fragile Bird Posted March 12, 2020 Share Posted March 12, 2020 In time of crisis, we humans always look for the brighter side of things. Or the darker. Time to post your jokes. I'd tell you a coronavirus joke, but you'll probably not get it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
maarsen Posted March 12, 2020 Share Posted March 12, 2020 I did post one earlier. If you catch the coronavirus, hook up with someone with Lyme disease. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Buckwheat Posted March 12, 2020 Share Posted March 12, 2020 Thanks for staring this thread, Birdie. Now I can finally share that the title of the other thread - "Love in the time of the coronavirus" - keeps reminding me of the fact that I just turned down a guy who wanted to keep dating me. I was not interested anyway, but if I were ... where is the fun in dating if you are not allowed to make out with the person? Now I am wondering what I would do if I were actually interested in somebody right now and things were going well ... how to develop a relationship with somebody if you are not allowed within 1,5 meters from them? Where would be the fun in that? /not a joke, just weird musings Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
argonak Posted March 12, 2020 Share Posted March 12, 2020 48 minutes ago, Buckwheat said: Thanks for staring this thread, Birdie. Now I can finally share that the title of the other thread - "Love in the time of the coronavirus" - keeps reminding me of the fact that I just turned down a guy who wanted to keep dating me. I was not interested anyway, but if I were ... where is the fun in dating if you are not allowed to make out with the person? Now I am wondering what I would do if I were actually interested in somebody right now and things were going well ... how to develop a relationship with somebody if you are not allowed within 1,5 meters from them? Where would be the fun in that? /not a joke, just weird musings I believe the documentary "Demolition Man" covers this subject quite well. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fGMa1Q-45ow Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kalbear Posted March 12, 2020 Share Posted March 12, 2020 16 minutes ago, argonak said: I believe the documentary "Demolition Man" covers this subject quite well. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fGMa1Q-45ow The look on Sandra Bullock's face when she hands him the towel kills me every single time Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Corvinus85 Posted March 12, 2020 Share Posted March 12, 2020 32 minutes ago, argonak said: I believe the documentary "Demolition Man" covers this subject quite well. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fGMa1Q-45ow My first thought, too. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Corvinus85 Posted March 12, 2020 Share Posted March 12, 2020 Saw a joke on facebook: "In 2020 we thought we'd have flying cars. Instead we're teaching people how to wash their hands." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Buckwheat Posted March 12, 2020 Share Posted March 12, 2020 52 minutes ago, argonak said: I believe the documentary "Demolition Man" covers this subject quite well. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fGMa1Q-45ow Damn, that doesn't seem like as much fun. 19 minutes ago, Corvinus said: My first thought, too. In the light of the current public health situation, I keep misreading your username. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Trebla Posted March 12, 2020 Share Posted March 12, 2020 I'm a firm believer in gallows humor. Sometimes you gotta laugh to keep from crying. I recall an anecdote from a book I read about John Wayne Gacy. The police officers were in the process of digging up the 30+ victims from his crawl space and their commander explained to the author that his men had to do this to keep from going crazy. One example: "Hey did you hear they are having dance down at the county lockup?" "Yeah, I hope Gacy can dig up a date!" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Maithanet Posted March 12, 2020 Share Posted March 12, 2020 This isn't really a joke so much as a brief skit that I wrote just now. Setting: Mark and Jane are making a youtube video on preparing for coronavirus. Mark: It is very important that you wash your hands with soap thoroughly, at least 20 seconds. Jane: If you run out of soap, you can use alcohol as a disinfectant! Mark: You can, but only with certain kinds of very strong liquor. Jane: You should go get a handle of 151 right now! Mark: If you're going to the store, you should just get soap. Jane: NO, just get it from your pantry. Can't rely on anyone else! Mark: I think there's still plenty of hand soap at the grocery store. Jane: You'll need to something to mix the ingredients together. (reaches into pocket) Mark: Where did you get a hand grenade?! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Darth Richard II Posted March 12, 2020 Share Posted March 12, 2020 All I keep seeing in my head right now is the head stranger from Dark City saying "SHUT IT DOWN". Also, Demolition Man! Good call, think I'll pop the blu ray in later tonight. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HexMachina Posted March 12, 2020 Share Posted March 12, 2020 2 hours ago, Buckwheat said: Damn, that doesn't seem like as much fun. In the light of the current public health situation, I keep misreading your username. I thought that was just me Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kalbear Posted March 13, 2020 Share Posted March 13, 2020 2 hours ago, Darth Richard II said: All I keep seeing in my head right now is the head stranger from Dark City saying "SHUT IT DOWN". Also, Demolition Man! Good call, think I'll pop the blu ray in later tonight. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Darth Richard II Posted March 13, 2020 Share Posted March 13, 2020 omg Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kalbear Posted March 13, 2020 Share Posted March 13, 2020 Waaaaaay too accurate Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fragile Bird Posted March 13, 2020 Author Share Posted March 13, 2020 Oh good grief, I saw that on Facebook but it was so small on my phone I didn't realize it was from Chernobyl! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DMC Posted March 13, 2020 Share Posted March 13, 2020 I heart this thread just because Demolition Man is prominently mentioned. "Kids, smoking, a desire to raid the fridge." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Corvinus85 Posted March 13, 2020 Share Posted March 13, 2020 Time to hit the acceleration button on that Mars colonization program. I wish for a small asteroid to hit us and for it to carry some alien virus that kills the coronavirus. (and gives us all superpowers) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Which Tyler Posted March 13, 2020 Share Posted March 13, 2020 With the UK's non-responce yesterday, we've selflessly volunteered to be the control group for future epidemiologists. I just hate the term "Self Isolating" it's boring, safe, bowing down to authority; so I'm looking for some alternatives. The best I can come up with are "Exiled for the good of the realm" - sexy, exciting, mysterious Or "Going to the Winchester, have a nice cold pint, and wait for all this to blow over" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Which Tyler Posted March 13, 2020 Share Posted March 13, 2020 I see you panic buying toilet paper - I'll be in the emulsion paint and the compost & seedlings aisles! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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