RIP EHK

[EHK for Darwin]

Hello All,

I want to start by thanking you for the outpouring of condolences and sympathies. Many of you were good friends of my brothers and had met him in places abroad, others only knew him as EHK or EHK for Darwin. I was really touching how all of you came together for him during this terrible time for all of us. For those of you interested and I hope this helps and gives some semblance of closure to you. He passed away on 4-July 2009. His cause of death was determined to be a heart attack. He had no prior symptoms and no health concerns before this. They found advanced blockages on the left side of his heart. This is not supposed to happen to a 29 year old. We did have some family history of heart disease, but this was wholly unexpected. At 29 you are still at the beginning of your life. He had already done so much and we really looked forward to so much more from him. Mostly we all looked forward to more time with him. I looked forward to more debates and beer and cigars with him. Many of you, I am sure, looked forward to many more witty posts or visits to Chicago or abroad. When it is your time I guess it is your time. If anyone has any comments or questions I will be checking his account every so often. Thanks again to all of you who knew him as a friend or acquaintance.

Sincerely,

Chris Wilcox

[delete this account pls]

Chris,

I don't think we can thank you enough for letting us know the details. Those of us that never met Tom in real life still feel like we knew him. We heard his thoughts and opinions on a wide range of subjects, for years and years. It's still hard to think we won't be hearing any of it again. I hope it isn't too presumptuous to say that I'll miss him tremendously.

[lessthanluke]

Chris,

I don't think we can thank you enough for letting us know the details. Those of us that never met Tom in real life still feel like we knew him. We heard his thoughts and opinions on a wide range of subjects, for years and years. It's still hard to think we won't be hearing any of it again. I hope it isn't too presumptuous to say that I'll miss him tremendously.

x 2. Thanks for letting us know.

[Nymeria Sand]

Chris,

I am very, very sorry to hear about your loss. I haven't been around here that long, but your brother was a very smart guy and I enjoyed reading his posts--even when I didn't agree with him. :) You don't see posters like him very often, no matter what sites you visit.

29 is much, much too young.

My condolences to you and your family.

[Myshkin]

Thanks for letting us know, Chris. Again, I'm terribly sorry for your loss. EHK will be missed.

[Guy Kilmore]

Thank you for this information. I never met your brother personally, but I have enjoyed our interactions online.

I feel pain at his passing and I feel pain for those who will never have the opportunity to know him.

[Relic]

Thank you for letting us know.

It was important.

He is missed.

[Guest thebadlady]

Chris and Crystal, thank you so much for stopping by and thinking of us when you are hurting yourselves. My best to you and your family.

The first time I met Tom he was too young to drink, was the only one in the group who couldn't. Oh did that rash him. I really got to know him that first meeting by going out for smokes with him - we were the only smokers. We met up a every few months after that and I always had so much fun with him. I think our best time was in Amsterdam and Scotland. That was the first time in ten years I ever saw him nervous - he was somewhat worried about meeting those odd people from the internet he had disagreed with so strongly. I told him to not worry - they will love you. And they did.

Tom was always so much fun in person. He was much kinder than you would expect from his posts and he had a wickedly funny sense of humor. It was always a joy and delight to talk to Tom. He had a strong opinion on just about every thing you could bring up. He was never boring. It would be impossible to pick one memory as my favorite, but there are two that I think shows what a fun and wonderful person Tom was: first was singing in a bar in Amsterdam - I sang Nine Inch Nails and Violet Femmes and Tom sang showtunes and a couple of country songs. We laughed and laughed at each other's choices. Anther great memory is going out to eat and both of us wanted the entire menu so we agreed to order different things and share. We ate with a will and I looked up to get my share of his meal and Tom had totally cleaned his plate and was looking at my food quite intently with a knife in one hand and a fork in the other. I knew it was a lost cause and slid my food over to him. Actually, there is a third - we left the bar after singing and him and I had a very heated argument on how to get back to the hotel. We were both completely wrong, but we had a hell of a good discussion about it. :lol: He was intense in everything he did, totally passionate.

Honestly, all my Tom memories are my favorite memories of him. When I first read the news all those snippets of memory flew past and it seemed impossible my friend was gone. But above all, you have lost a family member - I know Tom was devoted to his family. He spoke of all of you with the highest regard and love, and he spoke of you often. A lot of people grudgingly go to family events but not Tom - he loved spending time with his family. I think the happiest I saw him was when he talked about going to a relative's wedding and did the polka. Chris, Tom especially spoke of the fun he had debating with you and your dad; and Crystal - I remember how excited he was when you turned 21 and he could take you out with him.

I really miss him.

Here are a few photos I have:

singing in the bar

arguing in the streets about where 'home' really is

the end of The Argument and the beginning of the Walk That Was The Wrong Way (but hey, that chinese place looks great, lets try it!)

Heineken brewery tour, where Tom Totally Lost It. (beer beer everywhere but nowhere to smoke!!)

Again, my best,

Rochelle

[Arbor Gold]

Chris and Crystal,

Thank you so much for taking the time from your personal grief to fill us in on the details. Our community will never be the same, and I personally feel Tom's loss deeply. I really appreciate the both of you coming here to fill us in on the details of Tom's death...I can't imagine how difficult it must be for you, but it was important for us to know. He will be missed, and remembered with deepest respect.

-Kristin

[Padraig]

Hi Chris,

Thanks for that update. All the best to you and your family. Meeting Tom in Glasgow all those years ago was a very fun experience. He will indeed be missed.

[KAH]

Thanks for the update! I never met Tom in real life, but I can honestly say that whenever I participated in discussions here, engaging with Tom was always challenging but enjoyable - and whenever I started a thread, and waited for replies, EHK was the number one name I hoped would pop up in my thread. He had a way of making himself prominent in your mind that is very rare.

He'll be sorely missed.

[Inigima]

Thanks for the update. My sincere condolences again.

[Elrostar]

Chris, thank you so much for helping to give us all some closure on this terrible tragedy.

Once again, you and your family have all of our condolences.

[Rockroi]

I've been off the boards for a while, so this is the first I am hearing of this.

I always enjoyed reading and debating with EHK on a number of topics and his insight was always welcome.

This is a tragic loss. I have nothing profound to say, and can only remind people to take the time to cherish the time you have with those you really care about.

I cared about EHK and wish his family nothing but the absolute best and my deepest sympathies.

[zakalwe7]

Chris

My condolences. I met your brother over here in Scotland and have heard his rants for over 6 years. He had a big personality and real passion. He will be missed by all who knew him.

Kit

[Sophelia]

Chris and Crystal,

thank you for your time and thoughtfulness in letting us know what happened. It's so cruel that you lost your brother so suddenly, with the extra sadness at how young and unfinished his life was. He won't be forgotten - he's not the kind of person one can forget ;) The other day I caught myself (a rabid non-smoker) not only welcoming a smoker who wanted to smoke in the bus shelter with me, but positively sniffing the smoke in your brother's memory.

Yesterday I was checking the member list on this board and wanted it to go on record (perhaps geeky of me, but a mark of his stature here) that EHK for Darwin is the 8th highest poster on the board, with over 17,500 posts. And his posts were substantial in content. All those posts, and his sudden death, will have affected the thousands and thousands of us all over the world in so many different ways, which in turn affects the way we interact with others, that aspects of Tom-ness will be proliferating through the human race for ever.

:grouphug:

Sophie

[Tears of Lys]

Thank you so much for filling us in.

My sincerest sympathies on your family's loss.

Lillian

[The Anti-Targ]

As one who was probably on the opposite side of more debates with EHK than on the same side, I received my share of verbal beatings from him. It is always good to converse with people who think differently from you. I feel the poorer for not having met the guy in person, and that was before having read the reminiscences of those who knew him well.

A heart attack in one so young is unbelievable even with a family history.

Go in peace Tom.

[Angalin]

Crystal and Chris,

I am so very sorry for your family's loss. Thank you both for staying in touch with us. Your brother's presence is greatly missed here.

Laura

[arantius]

I haven't been around here for a while. I came back and have just been laughing my head off at some hilarious posts and thinking that's what I love about this board, and now I find this and I'm crying. RIP EHK.