[Spoilers] Rant and Rave without Reprecussions - Season 6 Edition

[Lady Fevre Dream]

2 minutes ago, Tijgy said:

So the rumor is Walder Frey is going to be killed by a poisoned pie, right? So will Arya kill first another Frey or will it just be pork pie? 

I've been wondering why Poor Larry The Lunkhead was trapped at what looked like a dinner party with Walder Frey in the preview.............there's going to be pie, too?  With or without a Manderly?  I'm glad I haven't been in the know on all these spoilers and such, I'd hate to have had weeks or months to give this thought.  And, we're putting the pies on Arya?  If so, I'd say Batfinger's teleporter must have received an engine upgrade.  Either that, or Batfinger managed to get ahold of Doc's Mr. Fusion.  LOL  

I'm glad it's only one more episode of this nonsense.  I need a break, LOL 

[Cas Stark]

The Rhaegar/Lyanna reveal was always going to be challenging for a TV show unless the entire show was written around Jon Snow as the STAR, and so the audience would have seen much more from him on his issues of not knowing who his mother ways and so forth.

That isn't to excuse what I'm sure will be a brutally stupid and awful reveal, but something like that isn't well suited for the visual medium.

[Prince of the North]

2 minutes ago, sweetsunray said:

They can't do mystery at all on their own, so they started to write bamboozle instead.

I agree with all you posted but especially with this.  When they inexplicably moved away from the source material with which, in the beginning, they were "dazzling everyone with their brilliance" they quickly had to switch to "baffling everyone with bullshit" instead.  Unfortunately, it has seemed to work much too well

[SerMixalot]

Not Cressen's but Davos if I recall correctly

[Little Scribe of Naath]

38 minutes ago, kissdbyfire said:

He knows. If you don't want to take my word for it, watch his face when Sandra says Rhaegar 'kidnapped and raped' Lyanna:

http://kissdbyfire.tumblr.com/post/126181149846/yes-littlefinger-knows-the-truth-god-knows-how

Good Lord, yes, I think that's actually where the show is heading. 

So Bran tells the viewers while LF tells Jon?

How did an adaptation of ASOIAF come to this? Jon learning about his parentage from LF ?

[sweetsunray]

3 minutes ago, SerMixalot said:

Not Cressen's but Davos if I recall correctly

We saw Cressen try to poison Mel, and Davos trying to stop him. Then after Blackwater, Davos attempts to kill Mel and is put into prison, where Shireen comes to visit him and teaches him to read, and he talks with Gendry too while both are captives.

[Sir Loin Steak]

2 minutes ago, SerMixalot said:

I think it more likely Davos is killed, he seems to be redundant at this point

His presence hasn't really made sense all this season. He was super protective of Jon's corpse for no good reason, and demanded that Mel bring him back from the dead despite not knowing that was a possibility and being very anti-Mel/magic/R'hllor up to that point. Even if he did believe she could raise the dead he should've been out looking for Stannis' body instead.

Davos killing Mel serves as revenge, which is evidently the show-runners favourite thing. Mel hasn't really done anything this season aside from the resurrection haircut and reenacting a scene from The Shining, after that she mostly kept to her room/off-camera and still seems despondent even though her faith has just been validated by an indisputable miracle. Davos while arguably redundant has been making Jon and Sansa's recruitment speeches for them! And was Jon's second-in-command during the battle for some reason.

Besides the murderous stare, I just think the writers still seem to like Davos and don't really know what to do with Mel anymore. Now that she's been shown as secretly old, they probably won't have her flashing her boobs anymore and that was half of everything she did in previous seasons.

Finally, they probably want to get rid of the get out of death free card as soon as possible, rather than leaving it to undermine future character deaths.

[Le Cygne]

11 hours ago, Lady Fevre Dream said:

LOL  It is soooooooooo obvious how little use they have for Mel, even in Carice's body, since they've blown her covers right off, so to speak.  It's almost as if I can hear the collective:  Ewwwwwwwwww  from the middle school D's as they continue to lose Mel.  I'm wondering if they are going to let Davos have some revenge, the end of the last episode has me wondering.  After all, the D;s know that Carice's body is no longer going to be able to be viewed without the picture of the ole lady in the back, or front, of viewers' minds.  

Ever since the saggy boob scene, her days are numbered. And she seemed so sad, too. Pycelle is lustily enjoying happy hookers. Mel is miserable at the sight of her aging body. /nope, not a feminist show at all, but primarily a male gaze show, same as ever...

Madonna-whore complex is not feminist. Fansa is a madonna whore yo yo on the show. She never gets to own her own sexuality, and explore her own desires, as she did in the books. Everyone sees her as an object because the showrunners see her as an object.

Not a feminist show, because that would be easy, just see her as a person. They never do that.

[Lady Fevre Dream]

3 minutes ago, SerMixalot said:

Not Cressen's but Davos if I recall correctly

They did show both.   Cressen died with blood, or wine, I think it was blood, pouring out of his mouth while Mel drank down the drink.  And, of course, they did show Davos trying to murder Mel right in front of zombified Stannis, screaming how she was the mother of demons.  I can't blame others for not remembering........as both scenes seem a life time ago and to have happened when it seemed the show still had a chance at.....something decent.  

[SerMixalot]

2 minutes ago, sweetsunray said:

We saw Cressen try to poison Mel, and Davos trying to stop him. Then after Blackwater, Davos attempts to kill Mel and is put into prison, where Shireen comes to visit him and teaches him to read.

Ahhh yes I sit corrected, Cressen did try to Kill Meli in show

[sweetsunray]

4 minutes ago, Prince of the North said:

I agree with all you posted but especially with this.  When they inexplicably moved away from the source material with which, in the beginning, they were "dazzling everyone with their brilliance" they quickly had to switch to "baffling everyone with bullshit" instead.  Unfortunately, it has seemed to work much too well

Yup it does work unfortunately. Even Chandler eventually likes it

 

[OldGimletEye]

42 minutes ago, Landru said:

Wow, Turner is just as self-absorbed as Sandra. The reverse could be asked as well, what prevents Sandra from seeing Jon as a strong leader? When she tells Jon that he doesn't know Ramsey and his response is that he's fought worse, she never actually bothers to find out that he defeated 100k Wildlings with 500 men or that he fought an army of the dead led buy a guy we build a 700 foot tall, 300 mile long wall to stop. Although, in defense of Turner, the show does make out Ramsey to be more formidable than the Night's King and Jon, despite his previous leadership experience and having watched countless people he cared deeply about die in front of him, cannot keep himself composed during a battle.

What is even more amazing is that Turner blames patriarchy for Jon believing that Sandra is less capable of battle planning, when in fact Sandra's own dialogue flatly states that she knows nothing about strategy or tactics.

Yeah, I love the fact that Turner wants to talk about Jon's problematic behavior here, but avoids Sandra's problematic behavior.

Sandra is a Boss Ass Individual, while Jon is just some kind of sexist loser. They might as well have had Jon wearing a wife beater and yelling, "Hey Sandra, get me a beer out of the refrigerator and make me a sandwich, I'm busy watching a ball game right now!"

I also love the fact that evidently Jon is now that guy: The Randyll Tarly of the North. Book Jon is hardly some super misogynistic asshole. I mean this is the guy who pretty much lets his girlfriend, Ygritte, tell him he is pretty much a dumb ass, who knows jack squat, and accepts it.
Yet now, evidently according to Turner Jon is the Randyll Tarly of the North. Why? I guess, hey, that is what the plot demands.

[Lady Fevre Dream]

10 minutes ago, Prince of the North said:

I agree with all you posted but especially with this.  When they inexplicably moved away from the source material with which, in the beginning, they were "dazzling everyone with their brilliance" they quickly had to switch to "baffling everyone with bullshit" instead.  Unfortunately, it has seemed to work much too well

I just love this post, tis all.  

They really are terrible with mysteries.........hence the broadcasting of The Ides of Olly last year as well as Barbequed Shireen.  They beat us over the head in one direction before they spring their oh so surprising 180s on us.  

[The Scabbard Of the Morning]

So the latest rumors is that L+R=J will not be confirmed in the finale.

If so Season 6 has truly been a complete waste of time.

[TheCasualObserver]

2 hours ago, Sir Loin Steak said:

Littlefinger's plan is as elegant as it is ingenious! Some will have seen parts 1-16 before, I've updated for the current season.

Step 1: Seduce and exploit Lysa.

Step 2: At some personal risk, secretly extract Sansa from King's Landing.

Step 3: Acquire Harrenhal enabling him to marry Lysa. (looking good so far)

Step 4: Murder Lysa and then rely on the Vale Lord's buying your foreign kidnap victim's word. Hope that all of them are inexplicably loyal to the Starks.

Step 5: Dress Sansa as a villain for funsies. Creep on her as much as possible to ensure loyalty.

Step 6: With Robert Arryn under his "protection" he can now effectively control the Vale until he comes of age.

Step 7: Immediately fob off his new ward on a lunkhead lord who has no reason to be loyal to you, but may be stupid enough to accidentally kill the infirm Sweet Robin.

Step 8: With the suspicious death of Lysa still fresh in everyone's memory, Robert Arryn out of his clutches, and leaving the Vale Lords absolutely no reason to remain loyal to him - promptly leave the Vale.

Step 9: Fail to do any research whatsoever on your choice of marriage prospect for Sansa (his one remaining asset). Randomly decide that a man who you know betrayed his liege-lord, Roose Bolton, is a reliable partner. Despite knowing the value of information, maintaining a spy network that rivals Varys', and repeatedly telling others to trust no-one; assume that not hearing anything about Roose's bastard (who is already infamous in the North) is somehow a good thing!

Step 10: Hope that Roose will turn on his current ally and only meaningful support, despite the hostility of lords he currently rules over, making his current position very risky. Accomplish this in one sentence by rambling about the last-time the North and the Vale teamed up they like totally conquered everybody. Assume that Roose is an ignorant rube with as little grasp of history, context, military realities as yourself.

Step 11: Despite there being literally no prospect of negative repercussions for him, and in fact every reason to think he would benefit, assume that Roose won't have you immediately killed or imprisoned and simply keep Sansa (or even send her back to the Lannisters).

Step 12: Fail to understand how a marriage pact works. He is not related to Sansa, so there is no dynastic tie being formed. His involvement is secret, but on his journey he made no real effort to hide his movements (in fact Qyburn seems to be aware that he is in Winterfell, given that he relays Cersei's message to him there during his brief stay) - if either his presence becomes known or the revelation of Sansa's marriage becomes known he is quite clearly involved in high treason.

Step 13: With no credible reason to think so, assume that Sansa will be able to take control of this situation.

Step 14: Provide the Boltons with the extremely valuable means of legitimising their rule, get absolutely nothing in return. Rely on the kindness of their hearts!

Step 15: Incorrectly guess that Stannis will defeat the Boltons. Assume, despite knowing what Stannis is like, that he will then somehow be thankful for placing Sansa with the Boltons? Make the case after he wins that you only gave Sansa to his enemies so that he could claim her after winning? Or in other words assume the man that you think will destroy the Boltons is an incredibly gullible fool, despite serving on the council with him for years - from which you also know he personally dislikes you.

Step 16: Congratulations! You've successfully given away everything you spent years scheming to get for literally nothing in return! Return to King's Landing to pass Cersei, do not collect any money from the brothel. Do act smarmy to the religious extremists who've taken over the city and are powerful enough to threaten the King and hold the members of the monarchy on little more than heresay.

Step 17: Return to the Vale. Don't worry about any questions arising from your insane plan to give Sansa to the Boltons, you have the perfect cover story. The Boltons kidnapped her. Yes, a small force of Boltons somehow became aware that Sansa was in your possession, made it into and out of the extremely defensible Vale undetected, absconded with her and left you and all your men without so much as a scratch.

Step 18: For good measure insult a powerful lord and call him a traitor in his own home, while surrounded by his men.

Step 19: Thanks to Sweet Robin miraculously not dying and being extremely easy to control, immediately gather and march the Vale army north.

Step 20: Take Moat Cailin from the south. This military feat has never been accomplished in the history of Westeros, but you can probably pull it off, after all you've got years of experience as an accountant!

Step 21: By taking Moat Cailin from the Bolton forces, you're evidently now at war with them, but you're really leaning on the element of surprise, so keep this information from reaching them or their allies. Somehow.

Step 22: Park your forces at Moat Cailin. Guess that Sansa has survived and is at Castle Black, send her a message. Travel through vast swathes of Bolton controlled territory to meet with Sansa, the young woman you traded to the monstrous Ramsay for no discernible reason.

Step 23: By this point Sansa has probably realised that you're either incompetent or perhaps don't have her best interests at heart (it's both!). That's ok though! She won't have you killed and in fact will still trust you more than her half-brother Jon. Besides you've got Sweet Robin's army to offer her, which she would probably still have if she killed you, because it's Sweet Robin's and he likes her. But don't worry she's an idiot.

Step 24: Return to the army (again through hostile territory) and wait for the Stark's inability to raise the northern lords to make your force necessary. Good thing these Northern lords are so disloyal!

Step 25: March your army up the King's road completely undetected.

Step 26: Arrive at Winterfell completely undetected, just in the nick of time to win the battle between the Stark forces and the Boltons (at least 90% of the Stark forces should be dead at this point).

 

We'll have to wait till the end of the week for step 27+ but it's likely to involve Sansa not understanding leverage, because no-one in this universe understands that concept.

This is comprehensive and awesome. I'm not even snipping it for length because as many people as possible should read it.

I was laughing out loud at step 8, but by step 26 I was thoroughly depressed.

[kissdbyfire]

8 minutes ago, The Scabbard Of the Morning said:

So the latest rumors is that L+R=J will not be confirmed in the finale.

If so Season 6 has truly been a complete waste of time.

As in we get ToJ II THE MISSION, but no reveal in show? LOL

[Apathetic Onlooker]

36 minutes ago, OldGimletEye said:

Yeah, I love the fact that Turner wants to talk about Jon's problematic behavior here, but avoids Sandra's problematic behavior.

Sandra is a Boss Ass Individual, while Jon is just some kind of sexist loser. They might as well have had Jon wearing a wife beater and yelling, "Hey Sandra, get me a beer out of the refrigerator and make me a sandwich, I'm busy watching a ball game right now!"

I also love the fact that evidently Jon is now that guy: The Randyll Tarly of the North. Book Jon is hardly some super misogynistic asshole. I mean this is the guy who pretty much lets his girlfriend, Ygritte, tell him he is pretty much a dumb ass, who knows jack squat, and accepts it.
Yet now, evidently according to Turner Jon is the Randyll Tarly of the North. Why? I guess, hey, that is what the plot demands.

And Jon gives her the opportunity to prove him wrong and contribute.  I mean hell, she was sitting there during the planning phase the whole goddamn time.  She could have added anything regardless of whether Jon asked her but he DOES.  

Sansa: "Did you ever think I might have something to add!?"

Jon:  "...  Ok.  What do we do?"

Sansa:  "I don't know!"

 

Sigh...  

 

Yeah this is the face of the oppressive patriarchy: a tolerant, understanding man willing to listen to any suggestion from his sister and trusts her to sit in on his councils and contribute at any time.  Clearly he's the goddamn Randyll Tarly of the North.  Yet she's hiding things behind his back that will get men, and their own brother, killed and that's just supposed to be okay.  Honestly, if Jon got pissed and decided to exclude her from any of his plans after this, he'd be well within his right.  He could easily fire back with a Tywin-style answer.  "I don't distrust you because you're a woman.  I distrust you because you're not as smart as you think you are."

Oh, also gotta love how they're trying to pretend she's being all empowered... by making her ask her pimp (Littlefinger) to step in and help her against the man HE sold her to.  Well done, Sansa.  Brilliant.  I'm totally buying how strong and independent you are.

[The Ned's Little Girl]

13 minutes ago, The Scabbard Of the Morning said:

So the latest rumors is that L+R=J will not be confirmed in the finale.

Am I weird if I assume that their reason for not confirming is so they will have something they and Kit Harington can lie their heads off about over the off-season?

 

[Prince of the North]

9 minutes ago, TheCasualObserver said:

This is comprehensive and awesome. I'm not even snipping it for length because as many people as possible should read it.

I was laughing out loud at step 8, but by step 26 I was thoroughly depressed.

Great!  Now I feel bad because I snipped that wonderful list for length!  I do want to reiterate what you said, though, I also agree that as many people as possible should read it! 

[nedfart]

10 minutes ago, The Scabbard Of the Morning said:

So the latest rumors is that L+R=J will not be confirmed in the finale.

If so Season 6 has truly been a complete waste of time.

I'm convinced it will be Littlefinger who reveals it to Jon, its vintage D&D. 

Season 6 would be a huge success if they would just go with Benjen= Daario. With the way charachters travel in the show, I could see Benjen being able to save bran and then get to Meeren to lead dany's army.