Hitting your kid...

[Balefont]

O.o

[Insomnium]

Children should be punished by intentionally walking them through dog poop, and then sending them off to school.

[Tears of Lys]

There are also huge individual differences between children in how they react to any sort of punishment. One of the reasons that a little bit of physical correction when one is very young usually doesn't have negative consequences is because many kids do learn really quickly to avoid doing things like touching the electrical outlets from a very minor swat and so the parent doesn't need to do it more than a few times. Unfortunately, not all kids are like that.

Oh, HELL YES. The Kids Across the Street ^tm - or at least the son, (whose parents I know had an Iron Maiden in the basement) was a true psycho kid who I fully expect is living out his days in the penitentiary. My brother, who was no angel, tells stories of the things this kid would do that freaked HIM the hell out, and he didn't freak out easily.

Now, whether the corporal punishment was inflicted from an early age and it caused a misfire in his brain somewhere, or whether the parents were at their wits' end and didn't have better tools to deal with him, I'll never know. All I know is there wasn't a physical punishment that worked to set this kid right. Another kid, all you have to do is look at them hard and they'll break down in tears.

:dunno:

[Lany Freelove Cassandra]

Oh, HELL YES. The Kids Across the Street ^tm - or at least the son, (whose parents I know had an Iron Maiden in the basement) was a true psycho kid who I fully expect is living out his days in the penitentiary. My brother, who was no angel, tells stories of the things this kid would do that freaked HIM the hell out, and he didn't freak out easily.

Now, whether the corporal punishment was inflicted from an early age and it caused a misfire in his brain somewhere, or whether the parents were at their wits' end and didn't have better tools to deal with him, I'll never know. All I know is there wasn't a physical punishment that worked to set this kid right. Another kid, all you have to do is look at them hard and they'll break down in tears.

:dunno:

Did you live on Villa St? Across from me?

I swear the beatings my brother got made him worse. He still acts and talks like he did as a teenager. He just got out of jail again--for possession of a fire arm by a convicted felon. He's 45 yr old. I just shake my head.

[Verboten]

I'd prefer to have my child trust me than fear me.

I trust my mother more than I can describe. I have Aspergers syndrome, much like your daughter, but everyone is different. She only spanked me when I was doing something dangerous to myself or others, such as running into the street while a truck was barreling towards me or trying to shoce a fork into an electrical socket or hitting my sister in the head. Then she explained very calmly why such behavior was bad and apologized for scaring me, but the situation was just that severe. I cannot stand it when people yell at me though, so she tries to not do that.

Those of you who have been spanked as kids more or less say the same thing "Yes it was humiliating" Do you want to be the one who humiliate your kid into submission?

Yes. Humiliation is beneficial in these cases, it allows you to learn from your mistakes. And I would prefer to have my mistakes corrected by my mum than by a complete stranger.

[wyman's cook]

Do you think it is okay to hit your kid?

Yes, I support it, as long as its your kid and not someone else's kid. No I'm not a fan of beating your kids, but I find it hard to believe spanking or swatting upside the head could cause emotional trauma. No fucking way. Let's say your 6 year old son throws a temper tantrum and pulls a banister from the staircase. It'll cost hundreds of dollars to fix. Do you really think a timeout is a suitable punishment? And don't give me that 6 year olds don't know what they're doing, yes they fucking do, I was 6 once.

This is kind of a rant but this topic just really infuriates me.

i hope he grows up to hit you .. but don't you ask yourself how/why did you get to that...

[Prince Alexander]

I sure am against parents systematically beating/abusing their children.

But in regards to spanking/small clouts/small slaps/grabbing and holding as punishment/control techniques... I honestly think, on average, it makes no bloody difference. My opinion is that about 90% parents are shit, were shit 400 years ago and will still be shit 100 years from now. The reason I'm saying this is: the world's a pretty awful place, has been and probably will be for a long time. And I blame the parents.

[Ken Stone]

I've found a really good alternative to spanking your children that everyone should try. You buy the child a puppy and spank the puppy when the kid does something wrong. It's amazing how effective it is.

[Mlle. Zabzie]

Another kid, all you have to do is look at them hard and they'll break down in tears.

:dunno:

Some kids are sensitive - and I personally think you need to keep that in mind when thinking about appropriate dsicipline. One challenge we're going to face is that one of my girls is super-sensitive. You just give her a look and she gets so sad. The other, not so much (she thinks it's funny). On one hand, we don't want to traumatize our one daughter (she even gets upset if it's her sister who is told firmly to stop climbing on the book case or bouncing on the couch and not her). On the other hand, we want them to feel like we deal fairly with them. It's HARD. (And I mean, we're just starting - terrible twos and threes to come).

[wyman's cook]

I've found a really good alternative to spanking your children that everyone should try. You buy the child a puppy and spank the puppy when the kid does something wrong. It's amazing how effective it is.

that's till they're 8 right ? cause form 9 and on you have to teach em Dexter's code

[kungtotte]

No, when they get old enough they must kill the dog themselves.

[Isalie]

Well, I'm pretty strict with my children, if they brake the rules there are consequences etc, I would never ever stand for them kicking the guy next in line and so on. However, I have yet to find a situation where I think that they would benefit from a spanking. I can see the reasoning considering the they were about to hurt themselves etc, but personally I prefer to talk combined with other punishments.

[BigFatCoward]

Children should be punished by intentionally rolling them in walking them through dog poop, and then sending them off to school.

never agree with hitting children cos i've seen what some people think of as 'moderate correction'. thats not to say i don't understand when people lose their minds with the little fuckers.

on a side note when i was little i'd much rather get a quick whack than a real shouting at, i think emotional abuse can be at least as traumatic as the physical. lets be honest, bruises heal pretty quickly.

[Tears of Lys]

ETA: @Kungtotte: And then castrate them so they're Unsullied. Can't have kids - problem solved.

Now all they'll have to worry about is being fed goat's cocks. :(

ETA: Sheesh. That turned grisly. I think it's time to walk my dog - WITH a proper Poop Bag!

[Reposado]

I've found a really good alternative to spanking your children that everyone should try. You buy the child a puppy and spank the puppy when the kid does something wrong. It's amazing how effective it is.

better yet, you get your child a whipping boy

[Lyanna Stark]

On the other hand....I'm not certain about the message conveyed by letting a toddler scream for 45 minutes in a store. I'm sorry, Lyanna, it shows a concern for your offspring that IS admirable, but a total lack of concern for anybody else who had to deal with it.

Smacking my daughter around in the supermarket would have made her wail even louder and would have accomplished...nothing. Apart from making her mood even fouler.

As for "letting" what do you want me to do? I needed to get the shopping done, my husband was working. How should I shut her up? Choke her? Lock her in the car alone? Please, as you are enlightened about these things, do let me know.

In the end, I walked around holding a monologue while she screamed her head off. Commenting things like "Really? Can't you try any louder?" and "Jeez, next time I'll make sure to bring my earplugs along". I even made some people chuckle who thought the whole tantruming figurehead thing was kinda entertaining.

EDIT: Yes, I did use to think screaming kids were awful. :lol: I still do, as a matter of fact. Have cut several trips to places short with my toddler because she had temper tantrums. I do everything in my power NOT to drag along a screaming kid. I make sure she is fed, isn't overtired etc. (which are actually the most common reasons for screaming kids, and it's totally unnecessary).

But sometimes, you just can't get out of having to do just that. With the Christmas grocery shopping expedition as the pinnacle achievement. And smacking still isn't the answer, I am afraid.

[Minaku]

I think next time you should sit down, hang a sign on the cart that says, "Over/under on when she decides to stop", and post on the board while you collect money.

[Lannes]

When my daughter was younger, she was a serial-biter, and by that, I mean she was the Ted Bundy, John Wayne Gacy, H.H. Holmes of serial biters. She was thrown out of 3 different pre-schools for biting- one director referred to her as a "Terror" on her last day there.

Nothing we tried worked- for almost a year- until we spanked her. It took 2 spankings, but she got the message and it stopped cold. She's six now and we have very, very rarely had to spank her in the past 3 years.

Now, me..... I grew up in a traditional Southern U.S. household where you were failing at being a normal, hell-raising little boy if Mama wasn't turning your butt red with tree branch switches fairly regularly. Of course, for the occasional uber fuckup, there was always Dad with his leather belt to turn your ass a rosy shade of red.

You know what growing up like that taught me? It taught me not to fuck up too often because the price was indeed a high one to pay. It is a lesson that has served me well as an adult.

I am not parenting that harshly, as daughters are typically not little whirlwinds of mayhem like sons are, but I guess we'll see if my way or my parents' way is the wiser when we see what kind of adult my daughter becomes....

[alguien]

Wow, talk about a loaded thread title...

With regards to being sent your room or time out.

As children, my siblings and I would have laughed at these "punishments." In fact, I think we did. It was basically allowing us to go daydream and not do chores.

We didn't get spanked very often. Most my dad mostly just raised his voice when we were in trouble. I think the only time we ever got spanked is if we talked back, like telling my parents they were stupid or something. And then it was just a swat on the butt.

We were really well behaved kids. In fact, we NEVER had tantrums in public places like a supermarket, because we knew that shit would just not fly.

Anyway, four socially well-adjusted, successful adults later, I can say my parents did a great job. We get along awesomely.

And it kinda rubs the wrong way to hear people claim they were abusive.

People should just accept that different forms of discipline work better in different households--and that standards of what a well-behaved child is vary WILDLY.

[Lady Olenna]

The other side of that equation is that adults also act badly when they're overtired; the times when I've been most stressed by the Things' behaviour have invariably been when I was exhausted too. :worried:

I was waiting for someone to say this. Sometimes people forget that taking care of a child 24/7 (at least for the stay at home parent) and never really getting any decent sleep leads to very frayed nerves and a lack of patience. On the days when I can barely function because my child has kept me up all night I just have to put him in the crib for a few minutes to gain some composure. But trust me, the frustration and anger are still there only because my mind and body can barely keep up.