Should I Tell Vegetarians There's Meat in the Food They Ordered?

[DunderMifflin]

Maybe, I was thinking more about this taco stand a friend of mine worked at when I was in high school.

I saw him mix something that looked like brown powder with water and it magically started to look like taco meat before my eyes as he was mixing it

[sologdin]

28 minutes ago, DunderMifflin said:

I saw him mix something that looked like brown powder with water and it magically started to look like taco meat before my eyes as he was mixing it

oh, veg-meat & polystarch.

[Raja]

1 hour ago, Elder Sister said:

Also, the few times I've volunteered some knowledge like that without anyone asking, I felt like a know-it-all and kind of obnoxious.  

Dunno though. To me, telling someone there might be something non- vegetarian in a vegetarian dish is helping them, as opposed to trying to seem like a know it all . I encounter this problem all the time given that most of my family don't eat meat.

[ljkeane]

Unless it was just clearly meat they were eating I'd be pretty unlikely to know if a meal was cooked with a meat byproduct or something anyway so I doubt it'd come up for me. If I did know and I thought they didn't, yeah, I probably mention it. Why not?

[Turinqui-Calima]

5 hours ago, Xray the Enforcer said:

We haven't had a good food fight lately. So here's a dilemma I'm going to be facing next week. 

Say you're out at a restaurant with a vegetarian, and they choose a dish that you suspect has some animal product in it. The person has not asked anyone about the ingredients and doesn't seem to care one way or the other. Am I obligated to inform the person that the dish they choose might not be vegetarian? Or is the onus on them to be informed of what they ingest? 

IMPORTANT: In this case, the food preference is entirely voluntary. There are no allergy issues (e.g. this will not endanger their health). They are not vegetarian for religious reasons, so their immortal souls are not imperiled by this either. 

A twist on the above: What if the vegetarian in question does not speak this country's official language as a first language? 

 

I would be very grateful if someone told me. It's happened once or twice that I've not studied the menu properly and accidentally ordered something with meat, and it's not fun to get the dish and realize you've made a mistake. That said, I certainly don't think you're obligated unless someone has asked you - it's really my problem to deal with my dietary preferences.

[Buckwheat]

I think I would mention it, why not? I do not think it would sound know-it-allish, I think it would just look like taking care of somebody's habits, which is not a bad thing.

[Pebble thats Stubby]

I would mention it when or before (if I knew what they wanted) they ordered.

Once the meal arrived, I'd be more likely to keep silent.  (part of the not wanting to make a scene thing)   Once they have eaten it I will keep silent.  No point telling them then.

 

This kind of happened to my Mum when she was a live in Nanny to a Jewish family.   When she fist arrived the Jewish Mother was very clear on No pork or Pig products, not even in the house.  One day the Jewish mother cooked some sausages, everyone mentioned how tasty these ones where and how much they enjoyed them.  My mother was thinking  - these taste like pork sausages not beef ones.  She did not say anything, thinking what they don't know won't harm them, but she did check the empty packet in the bin afterwards and confirmed her suspicions.      To be clear my Mum did not cook or buy the sausages.

[KiDisaster]

Admittedly I don't know many vegans/vegetarians, but I've never been out to eat with one who didn't verify with the waiter that the thing they wanted to order was vegetarian/vegan if it wasn't already explicitly labeled as such in the menu. 

In the hypothetical situation posited by OP however, I would say something. I don't see why you wouldn't. At worst you're attempting to be helpful and not quite getting there.

[Elder Sister]

3 hours ago, Raja said:

Dunno though. To me, telling someone there might be something non- vegetarian in a vegetarian dish is helping them, as opposed to trying to seem like a know it all . I encounter this problem all the time given that most of my family don't eat meat.

 

35 minutes ago, Gryka zwyczajna said:

I think I would mention it, why not? I do not think it would sound know-it-allish, I think it would just look like taking care of somebody's habits, which is not a bad thing.

It's probably just obnoxious when I do it.

 

[Buckwheat]

3 minutes ago, Elder Sister said:

 

It's probably just obnoxious when I do it.

 

Nah, you probably just think of yourself that way - don't.

And I agree with Pebble, the mentioning should be done before the food is prepared and brought, it does not make any sense in doing so afterwards (but they will probably notice it at that point themselves).

[Neddy's Girl]

I would want to know.  I eat fish now, but I used to be really strict - no gelatine, etc.  I even tried to throw up as a teen after I saw chocolate cake contained animal fat (!)  I only found out after I saw the recipe for my mother-in-law's BBQ relish that it contains Worcester sauce (anchovies).  She was happily feeding me that knowing my views.  On the other hand, my veggie sister-in-law loves Haribo and chooses to ignore that they contain animal product.  I would also say that someone's personal choice not to to eat meat can be as strong as religious conviction.  I am more relaxed now but I would still want to know.

 

 

[The Anti-Targ]

No, it is not incumbent on you to tell the vegetarian that they might be eating something from a dead animal. Unless the person is a militant vegetarian they might just decide to cut loose and be not so hard arsed about their vegetarianism for one meal. I know one or two people like that, they are, 99% of the time, committed vegetarians, at least one is functionally vegan when it comes to food at least. But once in a while they'll eat something that is not vegetarian/vegan just because they have a hankering for it.

Though instead of outright warning them, I might ask if they are taking a break from being vegetarian tonight, which is not warning them that the dish has an animal product in it but the warning could follow up if they say they are not taking a break.

[Impmk2]

If it's obviously going to be a big chunk of meat in the meal I would say it. My wife has very occasionally missed an ingredient (usually processed meats she's not familiar with the name of) and needed it pointed out. But if it's something like gelatine I wouldn't bother, unless you wouldn't normally expect it to be used in the dish.

[James Arryn]

6 hours ago, Raja said:

Dunno though. To me, telling someone there might be something non- vegetarian in a vegetarian dish is helping them, as opposed to trying to seem like a know it all . I encounter this problem all the time given that most of my family don't eat meat.

If it's misidentified as a vegetarian dish by the vendor, yeah...but I don't think that covers the o.p.

[Xray the Enforcer]

9 hours ago, Emre Mor-mont said:

Of course you tell them. Why wouldn't you?

We'll be traveling in rural/poor areas of a developing nation. Calling the places we'll be eating "restaurants" is, admittedly, a bit of a stretch. They're more like roadside shacks with one or two dishes on offer. I'd certainly advise said colleague of dishes that I knew had meat in them before they could be ordered. But turning down food that has already been served under such circumstances is really, REALLY frowned upon. It could seriously affect my ability to do my job if my colleague and I lose the trust of the people with whom we're working. I've generally found that vegetarians in those circumstances will just buckle down UNLESS one makes it An Issue. As such, in these circumstances, I believe my moral obligation to do my job to the best of my ability trumps my obligation to monitor the moral rectitude of my adult colleague's diet. I was curious what others thought.

[Lany Freelove Cassandra]

I have before. One of my best friends is a vegetarian.

I think given the traveling situations, I would tell them

[Xray the Enforcer]

In the States, I'm never sure how to react BTW. Sometimes people appreciate knowing, but other times they just feel called out/questioned. For this reason I almost never go to Thai or Vietnamese restaurants with people who I know are vegetarians. There's fish sauce in just about everything and I can't take the stress of knowing that. 

[SerenityShip]

Yes. I'd appreciate it if someone told me I was actually eating meat/fish.

[Datepalm]

I'd mention it beforehand to avoid possible scene, if that's the situation, I think. If X-Ray is the person more familiar with local food, language, norms in restaurants, etc, and Vegetarian Person is new to the project and the country, there might be a slight level of collegiate obligation to mention things you know he or she doesn't and would matter. Like, that dish that's the standard thing at the roadside shack doesn't look like it, but it has meat. 

If this was in a place which both of you considered home though, or really in any place where there's a written menu, waiters likely to know what's in the food, etc...id go with it being none of your responsibility. People are responsible with matching what they order to what they like to eat all by themselves. 

[Anythingatall]

I'm vegan and I wouldn't mind either way.