Dating Thread: "Pain, disorder, occasional clarity"

[Theda Baratheon]

35 minutes ago, Chataya de Fleury said:

I know someone who was so affected by his perceived lack of height (he was my height, so maybe 5’8”) that he went to Germany and got leg-lengthening surgery. It cost $80k, out of pocket, which was pretty much his annual salary. He saved up by living super-cheaply. 

Before his surgery, he was very into bodybuilding. After, obviously, he had to be on bed rest for two weeks and then was on crutches for months. He had to teach himself how to walk again. He got addicted to benzos and sleep meds while he was recovering (he’s a highly functional addict). He also started taking anabolic steroids to help him get his old muscles back, since his muscles wasted away during his recovery.

He’s now 6’2”, so he definitely got the results he wanted...

 

I could have never done that, the risks and recovery seem to me to be way higher than the reward. 

Jesus Christ that doesn’t sound healthy at all.... I suppose we don’t talk about how much men are effected by their own “beauty standards” but that’s absolutely fucked. I mean I don’t want to seem judgemental, if he’s happy then it’s his body and good for him, but that a 5’8 dude would worry like that because of height standards...

[Mr. Chatywin et al.]

1 hour ago, Heartofice said:

I think you’d be quite unusual in that to be honest. It’s pretty much the one consistent thing on most profiles that gets mentioned.

Not really. I've dated a number of women who were taller than me. The girl who took my V card swore she was 5'11, even though she was probably more like 6'2. Didn't matter to me cause she was beautiful, and her nickname before I met her was PR (plump rump). 

1 hour ago, Liffguard said:

This was pretty much my perspective, back when I was online dating. I never lied about my (below average) height. Initially because it never occurred to me to do so. But later because anyone who cared about a hard number in that regard is probably not someone I'd be interested in dating anyway. Nothing wrong with having preferences, but anyone with strict numerical requirements for physical appearance is not someone I particularly need in my life. Rather than opportunity missed, I considered it bullet dodged.

Yup. It's shallow. And one of the funniest things I've seen from my man whoring days was a woman being shocked that my short ass had a bigger dick than her 6'4 ex. 

[Mr. Chatywin et al.]

51 minutes ago, Chataya de Fleury said:

I know someone who was so affected by his perceived lack of height (he was my height, so maybe 5’8”) that he went to Germany and got leg-lengthening surgery. It cost $80k, out of pocket, which was pretty much his annual salary. He saved up by living super-cheaply. 

Before his surgery, he was very into bodybuilding. After, obviously, he had to be on bed rest for two weeks and then was on crutches for months. He had to teach himself how to walk again. He got addicted to benzos and sleep meds while he was recovering (he’s a highly functional addict). He also started taking anabolic steroids to help him get his old muscles back, since his muscles wasted away during his recovery.

He’s now 6’2”, so he definitely got the results he wanted...

 

I could have never done that, the risks and recovery seem to me to be way higher than the reward. 

GATTACA!!!!!!!!!!

[Fury Resurrected]

2 hours ago, Chataya de Fleury said:

I never paid much attention to height. Seriously.

I also don’t care at all about height. I have dated everywhere between 5’3” and 6’8” and more on the short end than the tall end. I’d say if I had to set a preference based on height I’d go lower rather than higher because shorter guys are less likely to be super hung up on gender stereotypes. If you’re the type of guy who wouldn’t do something completely normal for fear of appearing gay that’s the biggest dealbreaker. I read an article that straight guys are least likely to recycle things because a significant portion think they might look gay if they did. 

[Larry of the Lawn]

Just now, Fury Resurrected said:

I also don’t care at all about height. I have dated everywhere between 5’3” and 6’8” and more on the short end than the tall end. I’d say if I had to set a preference based on height I’d go lower rather than higher because shorter guys are less likely to be super hung up on gender stereotypes. If you’re the type of guy who wouldn’t do something completely normal for fear of appearing gay that’s the biggest dealbreaker. I read an article that straight guys are least likely to recycle things because a significant portion think they might look gay if they did. 

There was a whole thing on twitter/reddit recently about guys not wiping or washing their assholes because they thought it was 'gay' to touch their own sphincter in order to remove feces and practice basic hygiene.

[Fury Resurrected]

2 minutes ago, larrytheimp said:

There was a whole thing on twitter/reddit recently about guys not wiping or washing their assholes because they thought it was 'gay' to touch their own sphincter in order to remove feces and practice basic hygiene.

Yeah, the straight men who assign homosexuality to basic tasks are really troubling

[AverageGuy]

1 hour ago, Chataya de Fleury said:

Or do women demand “6 feet or over only”?

This one. I'm just over 6' but it still turns me off. I get that a lot of women want a guy taller than they are, but they don't tend to say that they're 5'10-11, so it seems arbitrary. I also don't put my height in my profile.

I haven't been on a date since March. Quarantine dating seems miserable to me, but who knows when we get out of this, so I'm starting to think about it a little. I still might wait through winter and see where we are, though.

[Mr. Chatywin et al.]

2 hours ago, Fury Resurrected said:

Yeah, the straight men who assign homosexuality to basic tasks are really troubling

I haven't looked in a while, but the last few studies I read indicated that straight homophobic men actually get more turned on than non-homophobic straight men by gay porn. It's probably why they get so defensive. 

1 hour ago, Chataya de Fleury said:

Size of anything (feet, hands, height) is completely not correlated to the size of the D.

And some men (not you, someone a long time ago on OKC) need to get over themselves, because *the bragging I have heard*....let’s just say that it’s like all of a sudden some guys don’t know 6 inches from 8 inches, or that generally, unless your name is Ron Jeremy, “the car will fit in the garage”,

I had a guy refuse to go out with me because I was “too petite” after hearing that I weighed less than X. He said that he was “just too big for petite women” and he felt that weight was a good indicator of that.

So bizarre. 

IIRC, the man with the largest penis ever recorded is a 5'9 pudgy white guy who doesn't even like it.

Anyways, I've heard a number of men make the same claim. It's bizarre indeed. I could just as easily introduce this kind of guy to two friends of mine, one is rail thin and a size queen, the other is a bit overweight and doesn't care about size at all. 

It's really all kind of random at the end of the day, and one is best off setting aside stereotypes and just trying to see if they like someone. 

[Starkess]

13 hours ago, Tywin et al. said:

I'm well aware. I was more interested in the part about:

What do you mean by this? 

Oh, I just meant that if you're not lying, but women assume you are, most of them will think you're shorter than you are, and for a lot of women that's a deal breaker. (FWIW, I am not one of those women, although I do prefer to date guys that are at least in the vicinity of my height just out of sheer convenience. Also perhaps coincidentally or perhaps not, the two shortest guys I've ever gone on dates with (5'4" and 5'6") were two of the biggest douches.)

6 hours ago, larrytheimp said:

Guys just seem to do this in general about height.  I don't know how many dudes have told me that I must be 6'3" or so because they are 6' and I am taller than they are.  I am exactly 6', so in reality they are more like 5'9".  

This happens to me ALLLL the time. I mean for one thing, almost literally every time I go into public someone asks how tall I am which fine whatever, I get it. But so many dudes will argue back with me. "Oh no, you can't possibly be 6'4" because I'm 6'4"!" when they are clearly shorter than me or similar. No, I know how tall I am, sorry.

[Mr. Chatywin et al.]

18 minutes ago, Starkess said:

Oh, I just meant that if you're not lying, but women assume you are, most of them will think you're shorter than you are, and for a lot of women that's a deal breaker. (FWIW, I am not one of those women, although I do prefer to date guys that are at least in the vicinity of my height just out of sheer convenience. Also perhaps coincidentally or perhaps not, the two shortest guys I've ever gone on dates with (5'4" and 5'6") were two of the biggest douches.)

I guess the hence, "you're taller than I expected." 

You have to approach this all with a rather unique experience, I'd suspect, and it would be interesting to hear. You're very tall, attractive, incredibly smart and willing to be vulnerable. 

[Ser Reptitious]

3 hours ago, Fury Resurrected said:

Yeah, the straight men who assign homosexuality to basic tasks are really troubling

Yup. Mask-wearing during a deadly pandemic being the most recent disturbing example. 

[maarsen]

6 hours ago, larrytheimp said:

There was a whole thing on twitter/reddit recently about guys not wiping or washing their assholes because they thought it was 'gay' to touch their own sphincter in order to remove feces and practice basic hygiene.

How do the feel about handling their penises?  I can see this would cause a lot of problems.

[Raja]

Apropos of the conversation earlier!

[ljkeane]

I was thinking yesterday reading this thread that I’m not entirely sure what my exact height actually is. I think I’m about 6’1” but what if it turns out I’m 5’11”? 

[lessthanluke]

2 hours ago, ljkeane said:

I was thinking yesterday reading this thread that I’m not entirely sure what my exact height actually is. I think I’m about 6’1” but what if it turns out I’m 5’11”? 

Hah. I'm fairly sure you're over 6'. You were a fair bit taller than me and I'm 5'9"

Or maybe I'm only actually 5'5"

[3CityApache]

On 10/24/2020 at 3:40 AM, mcbigski said:

Close to 100%.

I'd say just go do your regular comfortable social things, whatever they are, and someone will cross your path. 

Thank you, but reality seems to be proving otherwise. As I said before, my wife and I are definitely apart for almost two and a half years now (just not officially yet, as we didn't need a piece of paper), and much longer emotionally. 

And I do my regular social things alright. Problem is, that even if someone I find interesting does cross my path, I can't force myself to do anything about it. It probably has much to do with what @BigFatCoward mentioned, of just being terrified of having to go through all this again, just at the age of 46 instead of twenty something. Also, I just think I don't know what "doing anything about it" even means these days, you know? So I just keep my head low thinking inevitable effort is just not worth it. Possible rejection? Trying to get along with someone from scratch? Man, I'm just too old for this shit.

As for lying about one's height, I can't even wrap my head around possible reasons for doing so. Is there even more short-sighted action possible? But I'm just a bit above the average height at 1.84 m (no idea how much it is in feet and inches, close to 6 feet?), so perhaps I would think otherwise if I were much shorter.

[Mr. Chatywin et al.]

6 hours ago, 3CityApache said:

As for lying about one's height, I can't even wrap my head around possible reasons for doing so. Is there even more short-sighted action possible? But I'm just a bit above the average height at 1.84 m (no idea how much it is in feet and inches, close to 6 feet?), so perhaps I would think otherwise if I were much shorter.

Ever heard of Loyding? 

[Larry of the Lawn]