Soylent Brown Posted March 20, 2020 Share Posted March 20, 2020 Mother's Day in the UK on Sunday. I think I'm going to win it this year - I've got my mum a lovely selection box of chocolate-coated toilet rolls. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HexMachina Posted March 20, 2020 Share Posted March 20, 2020 1 hour ago, Soylent Brown said: Mother's Day in the UK on Sunday. I think I'm going to win it this year - I've got my mum a lovely selection box of chocolate-coated toilet rolls. The card market is already on this. Seen humour cards along the lines of "Good Mams (well mums but I'm from the NE so) are as hard to find as hand sanitiser/toilet rolls/a bag of pasta" Speaking of pasta, I overheard this completely sincere conversation in sai sbueys between a man and his wife: "it's ridiculous isn't it, just look at that!" *indicates empty pasta shelves* "yeah well get used to that." "why?" " we can't get anymore pasta now can we?" "... Why?" "Well it's from Italy, isn't it, and the country's been shut down." I don't know what was funnier, the conversation or the look on his wife's face at the stupidity Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fragile Bird Posted March 20, 2020 Author Share Posted March 20, 2020 Apparently there's a twitter hashtag for pick-up lines. Are you a pandemic, because you have my heart on lockdown! You smell so good, is that Purell you're wearing? Baby, do you need toilet paper? Because I can be your Prince Charmin. You can't spell quarantine without "u r a q t" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Which Tyler Posted March 21, 2020 Share Posted March 21, 2020 10 hours ago, HelenaExMachina said: ." I don't know what was funnier, the conversation or the look on his wife's face at the stupidity Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BigFatCoward Posted March 21, 2020 Share Posted March 21, 2020 'Don't go to the pub, dont hang out with your friends, dont bring home an infection'. Fucking Boris is starting to sound like my wife. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BigFatCoward Posted March 21, 2020 Share Posted March 21, 2020 12 hours ago, HelenaExMachina said: The card market is already on this. Seen humour cards along the lines of "Good Mams (well mums but I'm from the NE so) are as hard to find as hand sanitiser/toilet rolls/a bag of pasta" Trying to find a mothers day card for my mam is a right pain in Oxfordshite. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HexMachina Posted March 21, 2020 Share Posted March 21, 2020 4 hours ago, BigFatCoward said: Trying to find a mothers day card for my mam is a right pain in Oxfordshite. I feel your pain, I always used to buy mine on a visit home when I was at uni in London. My friends wouldn't believe me that "mam" cards were a thing that shops sold Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jen'ari Posted March 21, 2020 Share Posted March 21, 2020 3 hours ago, HelenaExMachina said: I feel your pain, I always used to buy mine on a visit home when I was at uni in London. My friends wouldn't believe me that "mam" cards were a thing that shops sold Imagine how our kids are going to feel when they’re older they’re going to have to buy/make 2 each!. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jen'ari Posted March 21, 2020 Share Posted March 21, 2020 19 hours ago, HelenaExMachina said: The card market is already on this. Seen humour cards along the lines of "Good Mams (well mums but I'm from the NE so) are as hard to find as hand sanitiser/toilet rolls/a bag of pasta" Speaking of pasta, I overheard this completely sincere conversation in sai sbueys between a man and his wife: "it's ridiculous isn't it, just look at that!" *indicates empty pasta shelves* "yeah well get used to that." "why?" " we can't get anymore pasta now can we?" "... Why?" "Well it's from Italy, isn't it, and the country's been shut down." I don't know what was funnier, the conversation or the look on his wife's face at the stupidity He had to have been taking the piss,surely?!. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
A Horse Named Stranger Posted March 21, 2020 Share Posted March 21, 2020 7 hours ago, BigFatCoward said: 'Don't go to the pub, dont hang out with your friends, dont bring home an infection'. Fucking Boris is starting to sound like my wife. The secret second life of a policeman's wife. You should pitch that to the BBC. Premise of the show writes itself. While he is out fighting crimes, she is making his work life miserable in her second life as British Prime Minister. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Week Posted March 21, 2020 Share Posted March 21, 2020 Current moood: https://mobile.twitter.com/WhitmerThomas/status/1240389384916086784 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HexMachina Posted March 21, 2020 Share Posted March 21, 2020 59 minutes ago, Jen'ari said: Imagine how our kids are going to feel when they’re older they’re going to have to buy/make 2 each!. I think I have actually seen one or two like that in card shops already. Could be mistaken though. I know you get same sex wedding cards because a friend of mine once bought one by mistake for his highly religious and bigoted aunt who was getting married. He was not popular with her. 58 minutes ago, Jen'ari said: He had to have been taking the piss,surely?!. I really wish he was but no he was deadly serious. Don't worry, his wife looked appalled at him too. Like, the hell did I marry? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Week Posted March 21, 2020 Share Posted March 21, 2020 13 minutes ago, Week said: Current moood: https://mobile.twitter.com/WhitmerThomas/status/1240389384916086784 *looks at news* Predicting the mood of the next 6 weeks: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BigFatCoward Posted March 21, 2020 Share Posted March 21, 2020 It's the burglars I feel sorry for. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DMC Posted March 21, 2020 Share Posted March 21, 2020 1 hour ago, HelenaExMachina said: Don't worry, his wife looked appalled at him too. Like, the hell did I marry? From my experience most wives have that look most of the time. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BigFatCoward Posted March 21, 2020 Share Posted March 21, 2020 16 minutes ago, DMC said: From my experience most wives have that look most of the time. I once witnessed a domestic where she leaned over the table in a cafe, and aggressively whispered 'it's all right for you, some of us don't get to sit around on our arse all day'. He was in a wheelchair. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jen'ari Posted March 21, 2020 Share Posted March 21, 2020 3 hours ago, HelenaExMachina said: I think I have actually seen one or two like that in card shops already. Could be mistaken though. I know you get same sex wedding cards because a friend of mine once bought one by mistake for his highly religious and bigoted aunt who was getting married. He was not popular with her. I really wish he was but no he was deadly serious. Don't worry, his wife looked appalled at him too. Like, the hell did I marry? They do, we got quite a few such cards. I don't know how his wife could cope being with someone that thick . 3 hours ago, BigFatCoward said: It's the burglars I feel sorry for. I guess the silver lining for you guys is you have to deal with less drunk dickheads tonight?. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
john Posted March 21, 2020 Share Posted March 21, 2020 8 hours ago, HelenaExMachina said: I feel your pain, I always used to buy mine on a visit home when I was at uni in London. My friends wouldn't believe me that "mam" cards were a thing that shops sold Huh, that’s cool. I’ve never seen a “maw” card in Scotland, although a quick check shows you can get them on the internet. I was going to send my mum a bottle of hand sanitiser but delivery times were much too long for such a feeble joke. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BigFatCoward Posted March 21, 2020 Share Posted March 21, 2020 44 minutes ago, Jen'ari said: They do, we got quite a few such cards. I don't know how his wife could cope being with someone that thick . I guess the silver lining for you guys is you have to deal with less drunk dickheads tonight?. Domestics will go through the roof though. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jen'ari Posted March 22, 2020 Share Posted March 22, 2020 13 hours ago, BigFatCoward said: Domestics will go through the roof though. Fair point I hadn’t thought of that!,and more likely to be spread out rather than grouped in town centres like the drunken dickheads would be. Wishing you and your colleagues as well as the other emergency services the best of luck dealing with things over the coming weeks . Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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