LongRider Posted November 24, 2023 Share Posted November 24, 2023 Let's share dad jokes, good, bad, punny, or silly, let's hear them. To the person who stole my glasses; I will find you. I have contacts. How do you make a tissue dance? Put a little boogie in it! What’s the difference between a poorly dressed man on a tricycle and a well-dressed man on a bicycle? Attire! A True Kaniggit, kissdbyfire, Bironic and 1 other 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JGP Posted November 24, 2023 Share Posted November 24, 2023 19 minutes ago, LongRider said: Let's share dad jokes, good, bad, punny, or silly, let's hear them. To the person who stole my glasses; I will find you. I have contacts. How do you make a tissue dance? Put a little boogie in it! What’s the difference between a poorly dressed man on a tricycle and a well-dressed man on a bicycle? Attire! Don't know about Dad jokes, but my now-16yo [Llyra] brought home a straight A report card except for one B, so I teased her a bit about the latter and she got a bit mouthy, so I was all: Me: [narrows eyes] Listen, assfucker... Llyra: [incredulous] FUCK YOU! Both of us: [burst out laughing] Proud of that kid. kissdbyfire and LongRider 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kissdbyfire Posted November 24, 2023 Share Posted November 24, 2023 1: how does an elephant hide in a strawberry field? 2: Dunno. 1: they paint their toenails red. Ever seen one? 2: No? Spoiler 1: see how well it works? LongRider 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rippounet Posted November 24, 2023 Share Posted November 24, 2023 Two eggs in a frying pan. One of them turns to the other and says: "It's hot in here." The other screams. "Oh my god, a talking egg!!" kissdbyfire, JGP and LongRider 1 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jaxom 1974 Posted November 25, 2023 Share Posted November 25, 2023 The first man walks into a bar. The second one ducks. LongRider 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kalbear Posted November 25, 2023 Share Posted November 25, 2023 What is a pirate's favorite letter? (They usually respond with "R") You would think that, but a pirates first love is the love of the 'C' LongRider 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Corvinus85 Posted November 25, 2023 Share Posted November 25, 2023 When does a joke become a dad joke? When it becomes apparent. Jace, Extat, LongRider and Erik of Hazelfield 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BigFatCoward Posted November 25, 2023 Share Posted November 25, 2023 This one only works if you know the geordie accent. Geordie goes to see the Queen, she asks 'would you like a cream cake or a meringue' geordie replies 'no, you were right the first time pet'. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Maltaran Posted November 25, 2023 Share Posted November 25, 2023 What do dogs and trees have in common? Bark Fragile Bird and LongRider 1 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fragile Bird Posted November 26, 2023 Share Posted November 26, 2023 (edited) What’s the difference between a tuna, a piano and tub of glue? You can tuna piano but you can’t piano a tuna fish. Hey. Don’t blame me! eta: people say, but what about the pot of glue? People always get stuck on that. Edited November 26, 2023 by Fragile Bird Rippounet and Corvinus85 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fragile Bird Posted November 26, 2023 Share Posted November 26, 2023 What do you get when you plant kisses? Tulips. when do ducks wake up? At the quack of dawn. Where do bad rainbows go? To prism. Don't worry, it’s a light sentence. what did the O say to the H? Nice belt! I went to the monastery and saw a guy making fries. I asked if he was the friar, and he said no, I’m the chipmunk! Erik of Hazelfield 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LongRider Posted November 26, 2023 Author Share Posted November 26, 2023 I’m stuck on first answer as I’ve heard it as, you can tune a guitar (or piano) but you can’t tuna fish. But what do I know. Fragile Bird 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LongRider Posted November 26, 2023 Author Share Posted November 26, 2023 What do ducks do when they hear a funny joke? They quack up. A True Kaniggit and Fragile Bird 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fragile Bird Posted November 26, 2023 Share Posted November 26, 2023 What’s the difference between a crocodile and an alligator? You’ll see one in a while and the other later. A True Kaniggit, Jace, Extat, LongRider and 1 other 2 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
A True Kaniggit Posted November 26, 2023 Share Posted November 26, 2023 A man walks into a bar. Spoiler Ouch Two men walk into a bar. Spoiler You’d think the second man would have seen the bar. Fragile Bird, Rippounet and LongRider 1 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fragile Bird Posted November 26, 2023 Share Posted November 26, 2023 Those were all courtesy of a dad and his daughter (they trade jokes) at dinner tonight. Wilbur and LongRider 1 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mr. X Posted November 26, 2023 Share Posted November 26, 2023 1 hour ago, A True Kaniggit said: Two men walk into a bar. Spoiler The third one ducks. A True Kaniggit, Fragile Bird, LongRider and 1 other 1 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
A True Kaniggit Posted November 26, 2023 Share Posted November 26, 2023 24 minutes ago, Mr. X said: Reveal hidden contents The third one ducks. Lol. Next July during the reunion the family shall listen to this extension of the joke. Thank you Mr. X 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Underfoot Posted November 26, 2023 Share Posted November 26, 2023 On 11/25/2023 at 12:12 AM, Kalbear said: What is a pirate's favorite letter? (They usually respond with "R") You would think that, but a pirates first love is the love of the 'C' And everyone always forgets it's actually "i." Aye!!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jaxom 1974 Posted November 26, 2023 Share Posted November 26, 2023 14 hours ago, A True Kaniggit said: A man walks into a bar. Reveal hidden contents Ouch Two men walk into a bar. Reveal hidden contents You’d think the second man would have seen the bar. Plagiarism. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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