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About RhaenysBee

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  1. Well, I’m quite certain at this point that physically I’m perfectly fine. I’ve been expecting symptoms to appear for days, because I know of so many people who have been ill (again, not with covid), but nothing, I don’t have a runny nose, I don’t have a sore throat, I don’t have cough or anything at all. I just have crippling anxiety and feel paralyzing helplessness. Because it’s one thing I’m fine, but just because I’m fine I could still have asymptotic covid, and infect my mum who’s also fine though I’m desperately looking for any sign that she’s not, which is just jinxing it, really. It’s ridiculous. I slept two hours in the afternoon because I exhausted myself so badly yesterday. I think the last time I had this level of anxiety over COVID was in the first half of 2020. and yes, I was in a really bad headspace to begin with hence the urge to visit. And it’s the first time that being here doesn’t bring me relief and tranquility, it’s just a crazy spiral of fear, anxiety and self-blame and guilt and helplessness and uselessness… I feel a bit like it’ll never be safe for me to come here, because there’s always the odd chance that I’m bringing something home. And that breaks me heart. And I know that my mum is far more bothered by my handling this than about the minuscule risk of the germs I might bring with myself. so either way, I feel like I’m only trouble anyway. Which makes me feel guilty. Well… not quite sure how I’ll pick myself up yet, but I suppose necessity will inspire my creativity and I’ll think of something. Thanks for your kind words and advice.
  2. I haven’t read the novels so I can only guess, but perhaps losing her childhood dreams and imagination and becoming exactly what society meant her to be is part of the natural way (and tragedy, if I want to be dramatic) of growing up. Maybe. I don’t know. What irks me in the series is that the coming of age theme and story is completely abandoned, and any and every value portrayed in themes or characters has been exchanged for romantic partnership or lack there of. I could feel pages with how they butchered every single character and theme as well as the overarching message.
  3. So I’m in full meltdown mode again. Because I came to visit my mum last night but maybe perhaps I kinda feel my throat at level 1 on a scale of 10 and maybe my head is a little stuffy, but I’m not sure I’d feel these if I didn’t know that a few of my colleagues have been ill (not with covid) in the past two weeks. And now I’m in a complete frenzy because I can’t rationally evaluate how I feel and I can’t decide what’s the right course of action. Precovid, I’d drink tea and take vitamin c and go about my business. But now? Just sheer panic and paranoia and helplessness and anxiety, but what if the 0.00001% chance to being reinfected with covid has become reality and what if I infect my mum? If I ignore it all, I might infect her and make her seriously ill. A couple hours ago I was determined to go back to the city and booked myself a covid test, but I still don’t feel determinedly ill, so it’s just drama and people are angry with me about it and I get it and they are right. But I’m still incapable of making a decision, I’m just terribly anxious and helpless and frustrated and hormonal I just want to curl up in a corner and keep crying - which I’ve been doing for nearly 3 hours now. I just had this feeling yesterday that maybe I should call this off because of many people caught a random autumn bug, I should assume that I also did. Because why would my immune system not fall victim to whatever the others caught. And then I told myself to get out of my own head because I had no real reason to assume I caught anything, and I’m not just tired and hormonal and generally strained by the crazy weather. So I didn’t call it off. Because coming here is what keeps my mental health intact and maybe I should prioritize doing something positive for me instead of assuming that something’s wrong with me.But was that the right course of action? Maybe not, maybe I should have called it off and just dealt with all the shit that’s bothering me holed up in my flat alone because that’s what’s safest for everybody else. Then again, my whole issue is being so pathologically caught up in everybody’s safety over which I don’t have real control and sacrificing my sanity for that is part of the problem not the solution. But I just don’t know what the fuck is the solution then. okay, that’s that. Sorry.
  4. Agreed, 100%. The positive parts of the first season outweighed the negatives. And that completely turned around in season 2. Everything stopped making sense and it’s all about social issues that are shoehorned into the story. I understand and respect that these are important issues, but they aren’t the only topics in the world and I’m sorry, but no, not everything is or should be about social justice. Especially that the show is completely incapable of treating the issues with nuance, subtlety, complexity and heaven forbid, presentation that’s realistic or at least semi-believable for the period. It’s pathetic and they don’t realize that it’s doing more harm than service to the issues too. Well my favorite bit is that they managed to stir the feminism ship in a way that the bottom line message of the story at this point is that romantic relationships are the single most important driver and meaning of any individual’s life. Every theme and message just collapsed like the girls’ forest hideout.
  5. Yes, the curve is definitely becoming less and less flat. I suppose I wouldn’t feel half as anxious if we had any preventative measures in action. But we don’t, we just trust in God or the vaccines or nothing and pretend it all doesn’t exist. Also, everybody is ill, colleagues, family, etc. it’s not covid, but I think I have learned to be ridiculously scared of any and every seasonal illness.
  6. Okay, Anne with an E needs to stop. I am nearing the end of season 2 and the creative decisions and modernization is just getting out of hand. They have completely abandoned the main themes of the story, as well as the main character. What you watch no longer makes any sense, entire plotlines, characters and archetypes are turned 180 degree in order to serve whatever the hell netflix decides. The story is completely lost, it’s become the awkward kid standing alone in the corner at the party. It’s there but it’s as good as invisible. What is even happening with this series?
  7. I see. well, I can’t wait to see how this is all going to look from 2030. I just hope we make it there. I just… absolutely don’t see that more than 5-10% of the target population would be up for this. But yes I can see how it would make sense.
  8. Great to hear! Best of luck with the thesis and hats off for wall climbing. Couldn’t ever do that myself about the many ways modern civilization sucks
  9. Well perhaps in this wave so far and the first. Waves 2-3 were pretty bad. This is indeed so. The overall low infection rate has a lot to do with the fact that Hungary also ranks 35th in Europe in the number of tests per population. If we tested more, that infection rate could and would be much higher. But PCRs are expensive so people are hardly liberal with testing themselves and GPs also treat subsidized PCRs as a scarce resource, not only due to their cost for the healthcare system but also their strain on the distribution system and labs. I have no idea how the mortality rate is calculated, but the general health (or lack there of) of people, the general quality of healthcare facilities and the insane strain covid put on them are all contributing factors. If the we do manage to keep wave 4 relatively flat, it’ll probably be down to the combined protection of vaccination and previous infections and/or luck but nothing else. People aren’t disciplined or naturally careful, policies and strategies aren’t any more consistent or insightful than anywhere else and instead of salt water, we have Schengen boarders all around us. Can an adjusted vaccine be developed as fast as new variants pop up? We had two major new variants along with two minor ones just in 2021. As for getting an adjusted vaccine yearly, people are apprehensive about cross-vaccinating for the third shot already.
  10. Well, over here nobody seems to give a shit about the pandemic itself anymore. Yes, stats are still published, and yes, sometimes someone drops a line about how important vaccination is. But the general public is over restrictions, caution and worry and the one and only thing anybody seems to think or care about is the upcoming election. Which is well all right, but simultaneously we are also forgetting that stuff exists beyond politics too. Oh well. The strategy appears to be staying fully open without restrictions as long as the ICUs hold out. We launched a hibrid-working schedule at my job and they are determined to not close fully again, come hell or high water. Still haven’t given up on trying to convince my father to get a third shot. It’s been nearly 6 months since his second and I’m confident that any side affects he is worried about are less dangerous than his catching delta.
  11. It absolutely does, doesn’t it? And the fact that it’s still only Monday is… just awful. Glad to hear the job is challenging in a positive, or at least indifferent way. how is the new flat treating you? Schools do. But there isn’t a government order to make them mandatory for the general public in shops, on public transport, etc. And I think 95-100% of teachers are vaccinated, 80-90% of kids as well. No testing. But we have a superbacterium circulating at schools currently anyway. Just so there’s a bit of change from covid… It’s just plain with a maroon strap. This one, but with the maroon strap, which I suppose is discontinued hence the crazy discount.
  12. Hello people, how is everybody? we are slowing moving out of the last heatwave, into what I hope to be steadily pleasant autumnal weather. Also into the 4th wave of covid, but what can you do? Well one thing we could do is make masks mandatory again… managed to drag myself out of my Saturday rut and was a semi-functional person yesterday. Of course my job kills my soul again as soon as the work week starts and the audiobook I’m listening to is particularly depressing as well. I should say something positive too, right? I bought a new watch, and it’s very pretty and it was 75% off.
  13. Yes I had a strong feeling that the adaptation has very little do with the novels it was based on. It does indeed reek of netflix but as of right now the positives outweigh the negatives. Not sure the series will be able to keep this up for another 2 and 2/3s of seasons though. We shall see.
  14. I started watching Anne with an E. It’s a peculiar experience. I find Anne absolutely insufferable in any and every way possible. Yet I still sympathize with a lot of her feelings and I do admire many of her qualities including ones that get on my nerves. I also connect with the Cuthberts on a deep level and the so far every episode had me crying at one point or another.
  15. Hmmm… either we are inexplicably lucky or the vaccination does hold its ground because the upward curve we are seeing with delta has so far been slower and flatter than the upward curve last summer. I suppose it can have something to do with with people’s experiencing mild or no symptoms and not getting tested, so the stats are flatter. But the sewing water testing also implies that this is not an exponential increase of infections. After an increase a couple weeks ago we see stagnation and even mild decrease in several towns and cities. And the concentration is still low or moderate everywhere. Now I’m sure that at some point this bubble will burst because we still have absolutely no restrictions in place to conserve this flat curve and/or prevent an explosion of infections in the upcoming weeks. Kids went back to school a week ago, that’s bound to kick in soon.
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