Mr. Chatywin et al. Posted October 24, 2023 Author Share Posted October 24, 2023 He'll think about it? He should be crawling back to you. Madame deVenoge and Mlle. Zabzie 1 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
VigoTheCarpathian Posted October 24, 2023 Share Posted October 24, 2023 2 hours ago, Madame deVenoge said: He might be. I called him tonight and asked him if we could go back to seeing each other. Talking about feelings suuuuucks, and it was hard. He said he will think about it and he will call me. He’s going out of town this weekend. So it won’t be until next week or the week after. I’m hoping (as others have said) the feelings talk included rehashing and rules and that’s what he has to think about over the days. I’m not saying second chances never work, but it’s the last time you get to with good conscience lay out everything you need that was missing before and enable you both to go into it with open eyes. Anything important not talked about will fester 5x worse than the previous time - and both parties have to be pretty clear on what is important to them, which sounds like it might be difficult with this one. Hope it works out the best for you, either way it goes. Madame deVenoge and Knight Of Winter 1 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Knight Of Winter Posted October 24, 2023 Share Posted October 24, 2023 @Madame deVenoge - at the risk of being too direct, I think you'd benefit from mentally categorizing this Doctor guy. Is he into "I want to date him again" category; or does he fall into "he's selfish asshole, my son and hairdresser are adamant on this; and I definitely deserve better" category - because....he can't be both. At the moment, it seems to me that he's in some kind of liminal space depending on your current mood. When he breaks up with you, he's an obvious asshole and good riddance. But a week or two latter, he suddenly ceases to be an asshole and for some reason becomes dateable again. So what is it? Also, should you two decide to date again - do you have any strategy to fix things that led to previous break-up in the first place? Do you plan to have tough conversations where you two will outline problems (which were serious enough to cause a break-up) you had with each other along with ways to start fixing them? Because if not - you're setting yourself for failure later down the road. And finally, judging from your post history here: you sound like someone with romantic options - many, many options. Meaning you're easily able to find dates should you wish to do so. Keep in mind that you can (and should) afford not to be desperately stuck on a single ex. So the question is: is Doctor truly the best out of all these options - present or future ones? Does he have such an awesome character, is dating him so rewarding that you can confidently discard all the other options because you know he's just that good? And if the answer is "yes" - then by all means try to get together with him; for quality partners are not that easy to find. But if the answer is "no" - then... feel free to let him go and don't spill any proverbial tears. Tears of Lys, Starkess and Cas Stark 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
3CityApache Posted October 24, 2023 Share Posted October 24, 2023 I don't want to sound like a douche, but how come it was you who called him and not the other way around, if it was him who missed you so much? And yet he still needs to think about seeing each other again. But I hope it will turn out the best for you. Tears of Lys, Phylum of Alexandria and LongRider 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ser Reptitious Posted October 24, 2023 Share Posted October 24, 2023 9 hours ago, Madame deVenoge said: He might be. I called him tonight and asked him if we could go back to seeing each other. Talking about feelings suuuuucks, and it was hard. He said he will think about it and he will call me. He’s going out of town this weekend. So it won’t be until next week or the week after. Sounds like he's holding all the cards. By him "having to think about it" that immediately makes you the supplicant (and him the dominant one). Even more so by him leaving you dangling for a week or more. That may very well result in you having a weaker bargaining position at the very re-beginning of the relationship, since you'll be happy already if he agrees to re-start the relationship at all. You might be reluctant to push too strongly for your demands for fear of chasing him away again, thereby inevitably simply kicking the can down the road. Tears of Lys and Phylum of Alexandria 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mlle. Zabzie Posted October 24, 2023 Share Posted October 24, 2023 Absolutely no judgement, as you know, but I would be hesitant to get reinvolved here. Is it worth the potential heartache or better to focus on healing? Cas Stark, Starkess, Phylum of Alexandria and 2 others 5 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Larry of the Lawn Posted October 24, 2023 Share Posted October 24, 2023 Phylum of Alexandria 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
IheartIheartTesla Posted October 24, 2023 Share Posted October 24, 2023 Making you wait sounds manipulative, to be honest, and you deserve better. At any rate, unless he has newly found empathy for your loss of income earlier in the year I don't see how things will be different this time around. But this is just my opinion of course. Mlle. Zabzie and Tears of Lys 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mcbigski Posted October 25, 2023 Share Posted October 25, 2023 On 10/23/2023 at 9:53 PM, Madame deVenoge said: He might be. I called him tonight and asked him if we could go back to seeing each other. Well there seems to be at least one person in this thread that feels that's a good idea. Ultimately it's all up to you but your friends seem to all be saying next. Madame deVenoge 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
A Horse Named Stranger Posted October 25, 2023 Share Posted October 25, 2023 You know I tend to think in song and music. And while we all would pay ty money to not sing this song (and should pay his mum to sing it). I still think there's some sound advice in here (sound advice, got it? It's funny) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tears of Lys Posted October 27, 2023 Share Posted October 27, 2023 I'll bet you'll enjoy the opera much more with your best friend! What are you going to see, BTW? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Erik of Hazelfield Posted October 27, 2023 Share Posted October 27, 2023 Screw the Doctor. No, wait. Don’t screw the Doctor. Mr. Chatywin et al. and Tears of Lys 1 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dog-days Posted October 27, 2023 Share Posted October 27, 2023 2 hours ago, Tears of Lys said: I'll bet you'll enjoy the opera much more with your best friend! What are you going to see, BTW? Was just thinking how much nicer it is to go to the theatre/opera with a good friend than with a stranger or near stranger who has their own agenda. Have been trying to twist the arms of my limited number of contacts here into going to the theatre with me but to no avail. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mr. Chatywin et al. Posted October 27, 2023 Author Share Posted October 27, 2023 (edited) Bump the opera, I want Chats to go on a date at a WWE event. Now that would be comedy. Edited October 27, 2023 by Tywin et al. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Phylum of Alexandria Posted October 27, 2023 Share Posted October 27, 2023 On 10/25/2023 at 7:35 PM, Madame deVenoge said: ETA - I purchased opera tickets for 11/4. I might have to take my best friend, but I’m going to the opera opening night, even if it’s not with a date. I can't seem to get into opera, though I hear the live experience is completely different (which is definitely true for most classical music). Any works that you recommend to a dubious newbie? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
A Horse Named Stranger Posted October 27, 2023 Share Posted October 27, 2023 On 10/26/2023 at 1:35 AM, Madame deVenoge said: ETA - I purchased opera tickets for 11/4. I might have to take my best friend, but I’m going to the opera opening night, even if it’s not with a date. What are they playing? Want to know whether I can tell ty he can go safely. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mr. Chatywin et al. Posted October 27, 2023 Author Share Posted October 27, 2023 4 minutes ago, A Horse Named Stranger said: What are they playing? Want to know whether I can tell ty he can go safely. I'm pretty good at going on dates I don't have much interest in. Just please god can I avoid being asked to go ice skating... I can't dance either, but at least then you can blend in and after a few drinks who cares... Ice skating though, ugh. Madame deVenoge 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
A Horse Named Stranger Posted October 27, 2023 Share Posted October 27, 2023 You live in Minnesota right? Is that legal? I just assume anybody living in Minnesota is required by law to be able to skate, as I assume that everybody from Texas has to own 3 guns min. And somebody from Alabama has to have had a crush on blood relative. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mr. Chatywin et al. Posted October 27, 2023 Author Share Posted October 27, 2023 4 minutes ago, A Horse Named Stranger said: You live in Minnesota right? Is that legal? I just assume anybody living in Minnesota is required by law to be able to skate, as I assume that everybody from Texas has to own 3 guns min. And somebody from Alabama has to have had a crush on blood relative. I didn't grow up in East Germany. And I skied all the time. No time for skating when hoops were the focus. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Starkess Posted October 28, 2023 Share Posted October 28, 2023 On 10/23/2023 at 2:13 PM, Kalbear said: Belated congrats! Thank you!! Everything* went really well and I could not be happier! *almost, I'm a perfectionist but trying not to dwell on the small hiccups... Kalbear, Mr. Chatywin et al., Madame deVenoge and 6 others 9 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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