Mlle. Zabzie Posted February 25, 2022 Share Posted February 25, 2022 condolences and sadness. that was a beautiful tribute. Madame deVenoge 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Xray the Enforcer Posted February 26, 2022 Share Posted February 26, 2022 Thank you @Ran for the info, as aggrieved as I am to hear it. @timmett My knitting is as terrible now as it was when I chaperoned you two young lovebirds all those years ago, but your eloquence is as delightful now as it was then, possible more so. I am so incredibly sorry for your loss, but I am deeply grateful that you had as many years as you did together. Sending you an ocean of love. Madame deVenoge and Lord of Oop North 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mcbigski Posted February 26, 2022 Share Posted February 26, 2022 9 hours ago, timmett said: Vale Lilith of Tarth, Knight of the Cheesesteak. Now your watch is ended. I wish I knew Litith better. That was an absolutely superlative tribute Timmett, if that's not redundant. (There can be only one...superlative). Quote ...the screening metric was 'people who read 1600 page blood-soaked fantasy novels,' so there's that. This. The community here is a blessing. So many people that I wouldn't be friends with without. I started showing up at events too late to meet you guys in person but I don't care how long I keep my HBO subscription, I owe GRRM a debt that won't ever get repaid. I feel for your loss. Mr. X, Madame deVenoge, litechick and 2 others 5 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ljkeane Posted February 26, 2022 Share Posted February 26, 2022 Sorry for your loss timmet. That was a beautiful tribute. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Elder Sister Posted February 26, 2022 Share Posted February 26, 2022 I’m so sorry. My sincere condolences to her family and friends. Madame deVenoge 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ormond Posted February 26, 2022 Share Posted February 26, 2022 Timmett, that was indeed an incredibly beautiful tribute to your spouse. Thanks for sharing, and my deepest condolences. Madame deVenoge 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mich Posted February 26, 2022 Share Posted February 26, 2022 Horrible news so sorry to hear this. RIP Lilith. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DireWolfSpirit Posted February 26, 2022 Share Posted February 26, 2022 Timmett condolences for your loss. I did not know Lilith unfortunately, but your story and recount of your journey together is truly inspritational. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hauberk Posted March 8, 2022 Share Posted March 8, 2022 This is heartbreaking news. While I have drifted away from the board, I have fond memories of conversations with Lilith. @timmett my thoughts go out to you. JGP and mormont 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Whitestripe Posted March 10, 2022 Share Posted March 10, 2022 @timmett Here I am a blubbering mess at my computer. Such lovely words. My deepest condolences to you. I remember her well. Madame deVenoge, Jace, Extat, JGP and 1 other 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Inkdaub Posted March 11, 2022 Share Posted March 11, 2022 Very sad news. Condolences to Timmett at this difficult time and I'll add my thanks for your heartfelt words. I don't post very much and I didn't post very much back then, either, but I do remember Timmett and Lilith of Tarth and the memories are good ones. RIP DireWolfSpirit 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
timmett Posted March 11, 2022 Share Posted March 11, 2022 Thanks all for your kind words. Leila remembered every one of you -- she had a startling memory for people, because she genuinely cared about them. And we were both fond of this place, because it is where our love began. Here's a link to a photo she took three years ago at an NAU faculty retreat. Her hair was back tho bobbed and curly, as post-chemo hair tends to be. She's wearing her Anthro hat and That.Smile. Just got her ashes back today. One more airplane ride, my love. Prince of the North, Soylent Brown, Xray the Enforcer and 7 others 4 6 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post timmett Posted February 23, 2023 Popular Post Share Posted February 23, 2023 It is traditional among some of the Plains peoples, including the Arapaho with whom Leila spent much time, that you wait one full year before publicly mourning a loved one, or before holding a memorial service. The idea is that this span is for private grief, for the living to arrange their memories and make peace with the dead. But also so the freed spirit can find its own difficult path into the next world, without rudely being called back to this one. There's a lot to be said for that tradition. Today marks one calendar year since Leila left this world, and there is a lot I still can't get my head around. Rarely these days do I catch myself leaning back in the office chair during breakfast to ask if she saw this morning's Post story. But a lost habit is still a loss, isn't it? When you think of mass-scale tragedies like the Beirut blast, or the recent quakes in Turkey and Syria, or the shelling of cities in Ukraine ... it must seem in the moment that the noise and the smoke and the shaking will never stop, and then it does stop, and there is the silence, and blue sky where buildings used to stand, and you are still alive, and you could be pardoned if gratitude isn't the right word for what you are feeling. On a vastly less awful scale, I've been digging through the rubble of life upended most nights. Leila had many fine qualities, but Marie Kondo she was not. You wouldn't call it hoarding, because hoarding implies a compulsion to keep stuff. Hers was more an anti-compulsion: she absolutely lacked any urge to organize or get rid of anything, ever. Random items were stuffed in grocery bags, then put into banker's boxes, then shoved into a closet hurriedly when dinner guests were coming over. The result might fascinate any future anthropologist with a kink for middens. It's a bit hard on a bereaved partner, tho. A typical box will contain teaching evaluations from six years ago; phone bills from her days in Los Angeles; twenty ballpoint pens; a photo of her with her parents; embroidery floss from when she thought she would try cross stitch; a corny Valentine's card I gave her the first year we dated; lab results from her last weeks of cancer treatment; and her original Birth Certificate. Sorting thru a box like that is hard work. It is sweet and sad and there's about another eight months' worth up in the attic. We burn thru Kleenex at an alarming rate around here. Most of all there is the silence. Leila's very active Facebook page has gone still. The last cogwheels of her little publishing imprint are winding down. There is no more Verizon ringtone or ticking of MacBook keys or Zoom meetings with students. It doesn't seem possible a woman of such enormous personality and social connections could just ... go away in one year's time. But we are good at forgetting, we humans. Perhaps we need to be. Soylent Brown, sologdin, James Arryn and 26 others 18 4 7 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BigFatCoward Posted February 23, 2023 Share Posted February 23, 2023 (edited) That was fucking beautiful. Maybe my favourite thing about the board is how well everyone writes. I was always great at maths and terrible at english, I love how some of you put things down on paper. Edited February 23, 2023 by BigFatCoward Reny of Storms End, DireWolfSpirit, Mlle. Zabzie and 6 others 9 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hauberk Posted February 24, 2023 Share Posted February 24, 2023 Timmett, I was heartbroken when I first heard of Leila’s passing and am doubly heartbroken today. My heart goes out to you. Madame deVenoge 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jace, Extat Posted February 24, 2023 Share Posted February 24, 2023 I don't wanna be crashing on someone's grief when I didn't know either party. But I also find the 'reactions' things to not be enough to express my appreciation for what you wrote. It was beautiful and heart-hurting and I hope you're okay. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Reny of Storms End Posted February 24, 2023 Share Posted February 24, 2023 Wow, that was so poignant and beautifully written. Thank you for sharing @timmett Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
timmett Posted February 25, 2023 Share Posted February 25, 2023 (edited) So why do you go thru the trouble and pain of sorting every box and bag, item by item? Yesterday I pulled a ginormous, dust-covered woven basket off the top of the office bookcases & began unpacking. It was mostly 1999-2002 stuff. The usual Temple U teaching evaluations, handouts from when she co-taught 2nd grade in Philadelphia, threatening letters from the NYC parking authority, phone bills ... oh hey, the original sales contract and home inspection report for her Indiana house! Guess we keep those. At the very bottom is a battered little photo album sent by her sister, from around Christmas 1999 (3.5 years before we met in person). Inside are many happy pictures, but especially this one of Leila holding her newborn nephew and reading a hardback Clash of Kings. Oh my sweet summer child ... the places that book will take you. Edited February 25, 2023 by timmett Ormond, hauberk, dog-days and 6 others 6 1 1 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
litechick Posted February 26, 2023 Share Posted February 26, 2023 15 hours ago, timmett said: So why do you go thru the trouble and pain of sorting every box and bag, item by item? Because when you love someone you can never know enough about them. Poetically, every footprint is precious. Pragmatically, every parking ticket is precious. It brings out the sleuth in us--in that moment she was at least 80% of the way through Clash of Kings. Was she reading about Arya's escape from Harrenhall? Is Davos swimming for his life under Tyrion's chain? How does she juxtapose what she is reading in a fantasy with the reality of a newborn in her arms and someone pointing a camera at her? You always want to know more when it is someone you love. Jace, Extat, Tears of Lys, timmett and 2 others 5 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guy Kilmore Posted February 26, 2023 Share Posted February 26, 2023 Those were beautiful words. The world is sadder with her passing, but our lives have been made a little brighter for her touching them. I didn't know her well timmett and I know these words are late. I'm sorry for your loss. Madame deVenoge 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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